Phone: 616-217-9489 | eMail: jude@midlifetoolsforliving.com
JD's Midlife Tools For Living Practices, LLC
Our lives are teaching us…that saying is really so very true. My life is constantly teaching me things. Most importantly I keep learning about me. Including reaction habits of mine that get in my way!
At times something happens and I am able to see a reaction habit I have that I hadn’t seen before. When I see clearly it helps me grow and know more about me.
It was back in my mid 20’s when I was learning how to be a separate person from my parents and wanted to change how I reacted to my mom. I vividly recall seeing an old very familiar way I had been reacting towards her mid doing. And, I smiled at myself for catching me.
There was such power in that moment because I saw what I was doing. And as a result, was able to intentionally change my reaction habit.
My mom however caught that smile and thought I was being smart with her! I explained that I had just realized what I was doing in that interaction we were having. I shan’t forget that important moment of my life.
It’s easy for us to be caught up in what someone else is doing that rubs us the wrong way. That focus however keeps us from learning about ourselves and growing and, keeps us in misery and suffering. We can end up experiencing depressed and anxious moods too.
Learning how to see, watch, be witness to our own thoughts, reactions, behaviors is where wisdom and growth lie. This is how we make change happen and peace dwells within our soul. And, we get to have a smile on our face too!
If so, what is your reaction habit of thoughts or behaviors in your interactions with that person? Put your mind’s eye on what you are doing, thinking, saying when they are being them. Notice and observe you.
We fall into patterns and form habits in our close relationships. Reaction habits are much like dance partners who each know so well how and where the dance routine is going to go next. If one alters their dance step, moves in another direction, the partner has to adjust and respond differently too. The dance changes for both of them.
In conversations if we change our reaction habits by responding in a different way, we change the flow of the discussion. The dynamics change and so does the outcome. Even a small change makes a difference in altering a reaction habit. And importantly we gain control of our self.
It does take practice and lots of it to change a habit of any kind including a reaction habit. Be patient and kind to yourself as you practice too.
Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. Therapy can help us identify reaction habits that cause us emotional distress and harm not only ourselves but our relationships as well.
Do Contact Me Depression Therapy and Anxiety Therapy does help us learn about our self!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
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We all wish for each other to have a happy new year. But in reality, it takes more than wishes to create a happier new year! It takes intention and attention and practice too.
Read on to find some keys to open a few doors towards a happier new year!
An important question to ask yourself especially when you find yourself feeling on the unhappy side of life.
There are so many ugly things happening all over the world. We can get so bogged down with what is going on out there in out their land. We can’t control it. But we can control how much we expose ourselves to it.
Same with what other people think and how they react. That is there’s not ours to control. We only have the power to tend to our reactions and thoughts and the way we communicate with others. We do have the choice to not let others reactions which we have no control over get to us!
No, that stuff that upsets us won’t go away. However, we don’t have to make things we have no control over be our central focus and keep us from having a happier new year.
There was a beautiful sun set in West Michigan the other day that filled the sky with bright pinks and oranges that bounced off the clouds all over the sky. I savored it. And I can still see it in my minds eye.
As I write this my husband it sitting with our cat Teddy who is purring away all cuddled up in his arms. So sweet them both. So calm and peaceful. My body relaxes just watching them.
I can see the smiling faces of strangers I’ve helped load groceries into their cars. And the faces of people who’ve helped me load heavy items into mine. Those few seconds of joy for us still bring a smile to my heart.
We can pause to collect and also to reflect back on these moments of joy and bring them forward to make a happier new year.
Knowing this answer can help us be sure to find a balance in our lives. We really have to keep our energy level in check so we have what we need in our lives for each step of our journey.
What give-ith and take-ith away is unique to each one of us. While I find quiet time helps fill me up others find it terribly dreadful to endure. A song may lighten my heart and be nothing but noise to someone else’s ears.
Allowing ourselves to know when our energy bank is drained and giving ourselves permission to fill it back up can help us to enjoy a happier new year.
When we hang on to resentments and anger it really hurts us deeply. Forgiveness is really for ourselves not for the other person. We don’t have to forget what happened in order to forgive either.
We feel freer when we forgive. It’s freeing to let go of the bitterness that binds us down. Bitterness keeps us tied to the past repeating the offense in our minds eye over and over and over again.
Forgiveness indeed can unlock the door to a happier new year.
My wish for you is to find what your heart needs you to do in order to make 2026 a Happier New Year!
Jude
If you find this impossible to do, Contact Me to begin therapy today! Anxiety Therapy, Depression Therapy, Grief Therapy, Substance Abuse Treatment, PTSD Treatment can make a difference and help you make 2026 a happier new year!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
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These days it seems that peace on earth is further than ever from being even remotely possible. Tis the season when we offer that phrase more readily to each other too. We say the words but it feels like such an impossibility.
There is so much anger, hostility, violence out there and in our back yards and even in our front living rooms too. And as well, if we are honest inside our heads and hearts at times too.
The Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary defines peace as:
-“A state of tranquility or quiet such as freedom from civil disturbance
-A state of security or order in a community provided for by law or custom
-Freedom from being disturbed or bothered by people, noise, etc.
-Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions
-Harmony in personal relations
-A state or period of mutual concord between governments
-A pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity”
There is a song that comes to mind with the chorus that goes:
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be…
It does seem that peace on earth must start inside each one of us. In that we have freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions and from being disturbed by other people.
To achieve that it’s important to have the tools we need to cope with all the challenges that life brings our way and that we readily use them. We can’t find peace if we don’t manage our thoughts and emotions.
We can learn to regulate our emotions and work to rid ourselves of unhealthy thinking habits that get in our way. It takes practice and practice and lots of it too. Change is hard work.
Once we can do that I suspect we will find more harmony in our personal relations too.
From there perhaps, just perhaps peace would spread from heart to heart to neighborhoods to communities to regions to countries. And eventually maybe just maybe, the whole world would be filled with peaceful hearts.
This time of year, I love to watch old black and white holiday movies from a very long time ago. One of my seasonal favorites is ‘The Bishop’s Wife’. An angel comes to help a man, a church bishop, struggling with raising money for a new cathedral and hurting his marriage in the process. He learns much from the angel. Before the angel departs he writes a sermon that the bishop reads at the very end of the movie.
His words have great importance. You see he encourages us all to give each other these very important gifts to help create peace on earth: “loving kindness, warm hearts, and a stretched-out hand of tolerance”!
May you find them as well this holiday season! And bring peace on earth to your heart and to those around you too!
Jude
Do Contact Me together in therapy we can explore life coping tools for you to incorporate into your life’s journey! Anxiety Therapy, Depression Therapy, Grief Therapy can make a difference and help you find peace!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
The holiday season brings so many things to us all. It’s a season of wonder. It’s a season that brings stress too. That’s why holiday self-care is so important to find.
We can be heavily burdened with expectations and obligations that we carry and try so hard to fulfill. This can increase our level of anxiety and depressed moods too.
This is a time of year when I reflect on the past and those people who have been a part of my life. This reflection brings sadness and grief to the surface for me too. I do miss those people I’ve lost. Perhaps you do too.
The reality of dealing with family dynamics can be daunting to face. Or needing to get all that needs to be done finished can create lots of tension. The want of not disappointing others can be heavily burdensome. As can the desire to follow all the traditions at all costs.
Let’s face it the emotional stress list can be endless! Importantly, remember that we do have a choice to include self-care on our “to do” list and make it a high priority too.
Above all, giving yourself permission to do whatever it takes to handle this season with self-care in mind may allow you to experience this season with more patience, joy and compassion. What a wonderful gift that would be!
If you are challenged figuring out what to do for your holiday self-care you might check out this great resource from the National Institute of Health: The Holiday Resilience Guide.
Do Contact Me together in therapy we can explore life coping tools for you to incorporate into your life’s journey! Anxiety Therapy, Depression Therapy, Grief Therapy can make a difference!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
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This really is a very important holiday this day of giving thanks. Not only is it an opportunity to spend time with family and friends over an especially delicious dinner but, it is a reminder itself of the importance that giving thanks, that gratitude has in our lives.
According to Harvard Health Giving thanks can make you happier studies have shown that “gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.”
“Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”
When I take a moment to focus on what I am grateful for it feels like my whole body takes a deep joyful breath of fullness!
I do have so very much to be thankful for even when I am going through a hard time, even when it’s cold and gray inside and out, even when a pain is sharp, even when I don’t want what is to be as it is. There still is room for gratitude. Plenty of room.
We really don’t have to look too far to see others who have far more challenging predicaments than we do! In those moments I am most grateful to have my life ‘stuff’ to content with rather than their life ‘stuff’. Even when my ‘stuff’ hurts like hell.
So, I challenge you to stop and smell the roses so to speak by offering a genuine heartfelt thanks to someone. Or by silently offering thanks for something you are in fact grateful to have been given.
It’s right there in front of you ready and waiting…just open your awareness and let the gift of gratitude fill up your heart!
If you are struggling with severe depression or anxiety, a loss this may be a very difficult if not impossible question to answer. Working through your challenges via Anxiety Therapy, Depression Therapy, Grief Therapy will help you to be able open your heart to the power of gratitude.
Do Contact me today if your struggling and would like to be able to bring gratitude into your life!
And do take a peek at the article listed above to explore ways to cultivate gratitude into your life!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
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Seasons change, it officially turned fall here in West Michigan but you wouldn’t know it. We’ve had near record-breaking temperatures! Making it hard to believe it’s fall. I for one am very grateful for a few extra summer-like days.
I cleaned and refreshed the hummingbird feeder in the yard for likely the last time recently. I noticed a couple of hummers a week or so ago but have not noticed anyone since. They move south in the fall and return in the spring to our area. Along with the darker mornings, spent flowers in my yard and leaves that have started to fall; I hate to see my little hummer friends go!
I have to admit that accepting the reality that change is constant, isn’t always an easy task for me to do. I am a creature of routine and habit. Sameness is easy and comfortable. Change often is not.
On the other hand, sameness can get old, boring and dull and change does bring growth and new opportunity.
Since I don’t have control over the sun and how the earth moves around it, I probably need to adjust myself to that which I cannot change. And I need to remember that which I can change is my perspective and attitude and way of thinking.
Some things are certainly easier to recognize my lack of control over. Others are not so easy to determine. My wise self the blend of my emotion mind and reasonable mind can help me to make that determination.
The Serenity Prayer offers a useful tool to tap into our wise mind when we need to.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Becoming aware of my resistance thinking is the first step towards my acceptance of change. We need some quiet internal space to accurately see where our thoughts are leading us. Once I recognize my resistance I am more capable of making the distinction between what I have and have no control over.
I can change my thoughts to what fall brings rather than what fall takes away. Fall brings apples, less weed pulling to do, pretty colored leaves to look at, cooler temps to wear fuzzy warm sweaters in. It brings mom’s yummy apple pie, a brightness in the color of the sun, meals with mashed potatoes and gravy. Suddenly fall doesn’t seem all so bad!
What helps you accept changes in your life?
If you have struggles accepting change in your life and find yourself filled with intense unrelenting sadness or worry, Depression Therapy, Anxiety Therapy can help.
Do contact me today!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
I do go about living on autopilot more often than I like to admit. It happens when I take life or my circumstances for granted. And when I am barely aware of what is going on around me. Also when I default to my “automatic” ways of being, thinking and doing in certain situations.
I am living on autopilot when I meander about without any thoughtful focus. And when I’m going through the motions of life almost unconscious like. Also when I’m not aware of how I’m acting.
One day I recall driving home from work along a very familiar route from the south side of Holland, MI to the north side. After having gotten to the other side of a stop light I recall hoping the light I just drove through was green! I was living on autopilot driving home from work that day. I really did not recall if the light was red or green.
Breathing a sigh of relief I was grateful that no one was hurt and looked in the mirror to see the light was indeed green.
Imagine what it would be like to show up for an activity with the intention to get the most out of it. Or what it would be like to intentionally look for the positives in a person and let go of judgments—that person you’re looking at could even be you. Or what it would be like to not have the problems you encounter today define how this day goes for you.
Mindfulness is the practice of living in the present moment, paying attention on purpose and not judging but rather fully accepting what is happening—right here, right now.
When we are mindful of our thoughts they have less power over us. Thoughts are after all just thoughts. Thoughts simply come and go unless we become attached to or fused with a thought. We then cling to it instead of letting it move on down the river of thought that flows through our mind all day long.
Judgments are simply just one kind of thought. We can intentionally see a judgment for what is it—a thought that can be let go of and does not need to be clung to and believed and acted upon.
An intentional practice of mindfulness can help us live life more fully and be more at peace in our daily lives. It can help us is we suffer with anxiety and depression too.
Like anything else in life, it does takes practice and practice and practice to learn. And even more practice to maintain a skill. It just does!
You might consider incorporating an intentional mindfulness practice into your life.
For tips and tools, check out these wonderful resources:
DBT Self Help.com, Mindfulness
Mindful.org, How to Meditate
Also consider professional help especially if your anxiety or depression is interfering in your daily living.
Do Contact Me to begin Anxiety Therapy or Depression Therapy today!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
Photo by Jack Sparrow at Pexels
Ever wonder how best to talk to someone when they are filled with anxiety? It’s not easy to know what to say. Sometimes we can say things that really don’t help but rather hurt. Read on to learn some tools to help your friend best cope in the moment with anxiety.
When we say things like this it minimizes the persons experience. In reality the person most likely has used the tools they know to help themselves. Their anxiety experience is largely an involuntary reaction like a racing heartbeat, sweating, shaking, upset stomach, racing thoughts.
Rather, say that you can see they are scared right now and ask if you can sit and join them. Show some kindness and warm empathy. Or suggest you both go someplace quiet and go for a walk. An opportunity to decompress might be very helpful.
It can add to the person’s edginess, wondering if they’re doing something wrong. To your friend what they are anxious about it a big deal and that is what is important. Anxiety is not responsive to logic, it’s all emotion.
To really help, let them know what they are going through is hard and ask them if they’d like to share what is on their mind. Be a lending ear and let them externalize what they are going through. This can offer them some space between themselves and their worries. And help them to put things in perspective.
You are communicating your contempt of this person and judging them. If you are frustrated with your loved one’s anxiety this is something for you to work on for yourself. It’s not your friends’ job to fix it for you.
It’s more helpful to say you’ve noticed they are tenser and ask if everything is ok. By being curious you open the door for your loved one to share with you. You’ve noticed, you care and are concerned. And you are someone safe they can open up and share their worries with.
In reality your loved one might be worrying about something that really could happen or has no chance of it. You don’t know till you understand what is on their mind.
To be useful, help your friend talk through potential outcomes and make plans for how to handle each one. They will gain perspective and be prepared.
It deepens a person’s self-doubt to hear this. Self-doubt goes hand in hand with anxiety. Know your loved one already feels like a burden. Comments like this create even more anxiety for your loved one.
Instead let them know that their reaction makes sense given what they have been through. This reassurance affirms them and their emotional experience.
Know that your friend truly is not able to easily let whatever it is go. Saying ‘just stop it’ is hurtful. If they could have just stopped it they would have, right?
Rather, you might ask them to sit down and take three deep breaths with you. Doing simple breathing work might be just enough to reset their nervous system. And allow the panic to dissipate.
When we say “at least… it’s not worse “ it tells your loved one their experience isn’t important.
We might be trying to be comforting but shifting attention away from your friend’s experience doesn’t help them. It says to them they don’t matter to you.
A better approach is to let your friend know you care and what they are dealing with is hard for them. To be supportive all we need to do is acknowledge someone’s pain.
Shame often accompanies anxiety. Getting rid of anxious thoughts is not a matter of will power. Toxic positivity isn’t a cure for anxiety. One’s life experience, biology and environment are all part of the complex nature of anxiety.
What’s more helpful is to let them know they are not alone, you are there. Say you realize they are doing the best they can and that is really is ok to feel anxious sometimes. By doing this you are acknowledging them, their efforts and not adding to their shame.
Are you very worried about your loved one? You can gently encourage them to reach out for Anxiety Therapy and assist them in getting the process started if that might be helpful as well.
If you find yourself struggling with a loved one’s anxiety and it is becoming very difficult for you, know that it’s ok for you to reach out for therapy. Watching a loved one struggle emotionally is very painful. Do get the support you need!
Contact me today!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
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We know that extreme heat puts people at risk for having heat related illnesses like heat exhaustion and heat stroke. Now we know that heat in the extreme also has serious effects on our mental health too!
Heat raises your body’s level of cortisol. Cortisol is a stress hormone that is located in your brain. The rise of cortisol can affect our behavior and create mood changes.
This increased stress we feel can make people irritable under the right circumstances. And can lead to increased aggression, including incidences of domestic violence.
Extreme heat increases irritability, symptoms of depression and anxiety and even suicidal thoughts and actions. Even a slight bump in the average monthly temperature leads to increases in suicide and suicidal behavior.
Sleep difficulties are associated with extreme heat and contribute to and further exacerbate mental health symptoms. This is due to a rise in the levels of cortisol in our bodies.
Excessive heat can alter our levels of serotonin a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood, behavior and sleep. And may lead to changes in mood such as anger, frustration or irritability.
High temperatures are linked with memory problems, attention and reaction time changes.
Higher heat is connected with increased substance use.
Alcohol is a diuretic. It increases urine production and leads to fluid loss. If alcohol is not balanced with sufficient water intake it causes dehydration. This is especially so during times of extreme heat.
Those of us especially vulnerable to the impacts of extreme heat are older adults, children and those of us with preexisting mental health conditions.
Studies report days with higher-than-normal temperatures during the summer are linked with increased rates of visits to emergency departments for mental health-related conditions. This includes mood disorders.
People with dementia have an increased risk for hospitalization and death during heat waves.
If you are taking some psychiatric medications, including certain antidepressants and antipsychotics you might be at risk. These medications can affect the way a person’s body regulates temperature.
Certain antidepressants, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines can also decrease thirst sensations. As a result people aren’t aware they’re becoming dehydrated.
If you take lithium do know it causes the kidneys to release more water creating more urination and sweating potentially causes dehydration. As a result, lithium levels in the body can become concentrated, and that can be toxic.
Importantly do consult with your doctor if you are concerned about any of your medications.
We are all encouraged to stay hydrated and take precautions. This is especially true for those of us who are more vulnerable to extreme heat.
It’s important to check in on those people you know who may be more vulnerable to extreme heat conditions to see how they are faring.
In periods of extreme heat do stay in a cool environment as much as possible during. Do drink plenty of water to stay hydrated! And do try some stress-management tools like meditation to decrease your stress level.
This great website can help you get a start learning and practicing with meditation: Mindful.org How to Meditate
If you find the stress of dealing with the excessive heat is overwhelming you, do reach out for help. With Depression Therapy and Anxiety Therapy you learn additional stress coping tools!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
As we travel on the road of life we do encounter numerous events that shake the foundation of our being. It can certainly feel like we’ve been smacked in the face. Here we are traveling along and ‘bam’ a “we sure didn’t see that one coming now did we” event happens.
We want to keep on the same road we were on, but that path has really vanished. Or its’ changed so drastically we end up lost. We can’t seem to find our way.
We don’t really have a choice. The road we were traveling on is gone. We can’t stop time. Can’t go back. We can’t change what is. Can’t change what’s happened. If we try to, we get stuck and end up filled with suffering and misery.
We can become resentful and bitter. A part of us can feel like we’ve stopped living. Depression sets in.
The choice we do have is to become willing rather than willful. Willingness is about opening ourselves to what is or what has happened rather than to wish it were different and regret how the road of life has changed so dramatically. When we practice willingness, we stop adding to our pain.
Life provides opportunities for me to glance back and see just how I’ve held on to a road of life in the past that had actually vanished. In truth my want for that particular road held me back from living fully in ways I didn’t realize until I saw that invisible fork in my life road clearly.
And, when I’ve looked back to that time of my life I see that my want for that path created pain in the present moment. I added suffering wishing for my road of life to have been different in the past.
Seems obvious to me now but for a very long time I didn’t see my longing for something no longer there clearly. By doing so, I have begun to open myself to accept what happened and feel lighter as a result.
I do know I would not be right here right now if that life road I was on hadn’t twisted and turned as it has. Everything unfolds as it does. It just does.
If you find yourself stuck wishing for a past road that can no longer be traveled upon consider practicing willingness.
You can learn more and ways to practice with willingness from this wonderful resource on the DBT Self Help website:
Willingness & Half-Smile
If you need some assistance exploring those ‘invisible’ forks on your road do reach out for professional help. Especially do so if depression is preventing you from living life fully!
Do Contact Me to begin Depression Therapy today!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
I’ve come to savor early morning quiet times. Early morning time outside is even more special for me to experience. This silence is golden to me.
Such truth there is in this old proverb. Silence is golden and not just when saying nothing is better than speaking.
When I read the meditation booklet, Daily Word, A Unity Publication for March 5, 2016 it reminded me of the value of silence: “Deep beneath the random and shifting waves of my mind, I discover a vast ocean of peace. Like an ocean’s choppy surface, my outer mind may seem busy or even stormy. As I stop and let my awareness turn within, I find a still, quiet place… In the silence of my being, I find comfort and serenity.”
Many years ago, my husband and I were hiking in the Porcupine Mountains in the upper peninsula of Michigan. It’s a beautiful place that is far away from well-traveled and busy areas. It is quiet up there.
I remember sitting by a small lake listening to the silence around me. Yes, I was listening to silence. I recall whispering to my husband about the silence too not wanting to intrude into its vastness and break it.
It’s not easy to find silent places in the world I live in here in Holland MI. Even in the quiet of early morning or late at night in the woods around my home there is a hum in the distance from the small city not so far away that echoes in the silent air.
I’ve noticed moments when snow that is gently falling dampens sounds in the distance and there has been a quiet surrounding me right in my very own yard.
These are golden moments of silence to me. They are rare opportunities and I savor them.
Early mornings before the world begins to stir is my time to sit with silence, be still and turn inward. It’s in my alone quiet time that I come to remember I am not so very alone at all…a quiet golden path to peace.
Silence might be difficult to embrace. It can be hard to relax when the world around us is silent. We can get caught up in the thoughts spinning in our minds especially if we have anxious thoughts. Making silence something we choose to avoid.
If this is true for you, practicing mindfulness might be a tool to practice with.
Check out these other blog posts of mine to learn a bit more about mindfulness:
Mindful of Judgement
In addition, this website offers some great free mindfulness practice tools to utilize:
Mindful.org
If your anxiety is just too high to allow you to sit comfortably in silence Do Contact Me. Anxiety Therapy can help you learn to quiet your mind.
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
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Ever wonder how you ended up thinking about what it is that you have on your mind? I do…a wandering mind I sure do have. Often, I realize I’m thinking about something and out of curiosity I will pause and trace back to what I had been thinking about that took me to my current thought destination. It always amazes me how I got to where I got.
My wandering mind is like a dog on one of those long retractable leashes that goes and goes and goes until its owner realizes it is time to reel the dog back in.
I can be off on tangents very far removed from my original thought. Much of the time it’s not a bad thing when my mind wanders as our minds just do. It’s the way our very human brains work. They are built to think.
Sometimes it isn’t very helpful to end up in the very place my wandering mind has taken me. I can end up living too much in my head rather than fully present living in today. And miss out on actual life going on around me.
My mind can be much like a dog on a long leash who has gotten all wrapped around a post and can’t make another move.
I can get all caught up in worry about any number of things and end up all tangled up feeling anxious or depressed. And then I worry more and feel more anxious and depressed. It can be a vicious and painful cycle. And I get stuck.
It’s not until I can get a grip just like the owner of the dog on that long retractable leash and reel my thoughts back under my control that this vicious cycle and pain comes to an end.
We can become more aware of our thinking and notice when we’re in a place we don’t really need to be. And decide where to put our focus and gently bring our mind back to that chosen place each time that darn dog gets running wildly on that long leash once again.
Remember this takes practice and practice and practice. And then more practice too. It just does!
It’s important to be gentle with ourselves when our mind tears off running over and over again and again. And take a breath and relax as we practice too. We are after all simply an imperfect human beings and living is all about the opportunity to learn!
Where is a helpful place to focus your mind’s attention when you notice a need to reel in your unhealthy thoughts?
Do Contact Me if your wanting mind is out of control and you need some assistance reeling it back in! Depression Therapy and Anxiety Therapy can help!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
