A Pop-less Father’s Day

Missing my Dad

I was a tad cranky yesterday and out of sorts in anticipation of this day. Dad’s been here my whole life to celebrate with on this day. It is so strange to not have him here. And yet life goes on as it does. It feels unfair that it does too…everything should stop! I guess that dissociative fog is my way of stopping for a bit.

It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood. The sunrise was magnificent. It is sunny and cool and the birds are singing…a mourning dove is letting me know her sorrow and mine too.

I told my sister in law recently that if I had known a year ago that my dad would die in October I would have moved in with my parents for the summer. Regrets…I spent time with my parents as often as I felt I could but I also know now that there were plenty of other opportunities I let slide by too.

It seems the gift of loss is a realization that things come to an end. And in that I’ve been able more often to take in what this day has to give to me with more appreciation for all I have been given. I am living life a bit more fully perhaps than I was before my dad died.

Savor this Father’s Day as you don’t know if it might be your last one with the wonderful man/men in your life!

Happy Father’s Day Pop! I love you!

What might you do differently if you knew your father would die in the next year?

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