Dark and stormy times…

It’s been a fairly dark and stormy year some days for me following a pretty difficult year before this one too.

The year has been a painful one both emotionally and physically in a variety of directions. There were moments too I will not lie that I didn’t think I could go on and brief moments I didn’t want to either. I have been a pretty healthy person all of my life so to have spent the last 9 months unable to do very much has required more of me than at times I knew I had.

Not knowing exactly what is wrong is a strange kind of pain.

It has kept me in search of answers and wondering and even questioning myself some too. It helped me to reach out to others from doctors to researchers to reporters to others challenged with similar health concerns for ideas and information and to find some hope for resolution to this ongoing health dilemma that continues to persist.

This year has brought me a far greater appreciation for people with chronic health conditions.

I marvel at how others manage to do it having glanced into what a limited life is like. Frankly it sucks not being able to do all I want to anytime I want to as well. I have taken so much for granted, so so very much too!

We experience so much grief when our health status changes.

It has been important for me to give myself space to grieve the multitude of losses illness has brought. At first it was fairly easy for me to hold a more jovial attitude and use humor to help me get by. That grew harder to muster as time went on and there is no end to be seen insight.

And then I found once again my ever-helpful meditation mantra: (inhale) everything is (exhale) as it should be. I lost it for a bit in the gloom of the night.

Frankly at times it was hard to open my own tool box! Inside it my tools include: four kittens to help me smile and move, therapy sessions, journaling, walking, stretching, mediation, holding a grateful heart for all my life has brought to me and a multitude of other tools I can readily pick up and use.

I share this so you know that you are not alone in your life journey no matter what challenges you face. We all struggle at times, we just do.

Life is hard work and pain in not something we can avoid no matter who we are.

A journey shared creates healing. Knowing we are not alone brings relief. Out of pain there come awareness and with awareness comes growth!

I hold on to the hope of resuming my career as a therapist and of using my new-found awareness to help support others…after all everything is as it should be…. no matter what life brings… there is a purpose for what this year has taught me!

What new awareness’s have your life challenges this year brought to you?