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JD's Midlife Tools For Living Practices, LLC
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Do you know that 59% of us are worried about having political disagreements and tension at our Thanksgiving tables? And 23% of people surveyed are considering not celebrating Thanksgiving with their families all together, according to a survey by Spruce.
Holiday election anxiety stress is real and affecting us big time as we move into the season.
The question is just how much power will we give it? Will we really allow politics to interfere with our family relationships and celebrations and other aspects of our lives that are important to us?
I read an article about a woman who is so angry with her husband and his family about the choices they made at the election polls that she canceled both Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations for herself with them.
This woman has handed so much power over to politics. Politics has taken a front seat in her life and the people who were once important to her have been pushed aside because they have a different political view than hers. She can’t tolerate those differences. Her election anxiety stress has changed her holiday.
This amount of anger will destroy one’s life. It will eat away at us, keep us awake at night. It will affect our outlook on life, our ability to be healthy both physically and mentally. This anger will keep us reacting, blowing up, raging at the world around us. It will drive people away from us.
The divide in our country is being carried on by both sides reacting to one another. Each shouting their side is right and the other side is wrong. Emotions are heightened on all fronts. These emotions are driving us further apart.
When we have great big emotions, they take over our mind. When emotions run so high we are not able to access the logical part of our brain that helps us make wise decisions and responses in tense situations. We can end up blowing up, doing and saying things we later regret or that cause harm difficult to repair.
When emotions are ramped so high the only way we can respond wisely is to calm our emotional mind down. We can learn and practice tools to help us regulate our emotions.
First, we have to be willing to recognize if due to our election anxiety stress we are causing ourselves and others harm. That is not easy to do if we are set on the idea that the other side is wrong and we are right. No one wins this way. We all suffer.
Just cuz we are family doesn’t mean we are going to or have to agree on everything, including politics. Sometimes we can openly agree to disagree. And even come to accept that we do. Sometimes a family member insists that you agree with them and you don’t. You can come to accept that is how it is with this person and let that be as it is too.
The reality is that we each would not be who and where we are in life if anyone was different than they are in our families. Our lives unfold and have been influenced by those family members of ours in all kinds of ways. I would not be me without having had each of my family members in my life. The same goes for you.
We can decide to be grateful for the people we call family. And seek to understand rather than judge other people’s life choices, values, experiences, even political opinions. We can choose to love them no matter how different we are and think. We can respect our differences, look for what we share in common and lower our election anxiety stress.
*Take a break if your emotions and anxiety stress becomes ramped up. Go for a walk outside, head to the bathroom and take a few deep breaths, glance out a window and notice what you see.
*We don’t need to make our opinions known. Even if someone is professing there’s it doesn’t mean I need to state mine. Keep yours to yourself, especially if you suspect someone is poking or needling you.
*Don’t let anyone get under your skin. Deflate your emotional reactions—take a breath and linger on the exhale, put a smile on your face, grab a chunk of ice and hold it in your hands.
*Plan ahead and have ideas of conversation topics you can bring to the table—ask questions about your family’s past, remember a fun time you all had together. Interject a topic when you need the subject to change. Take control of the conversation direction.
*If you are involved in a political conversation with someone whose views differ approach the interaction with curiosity, seek to listen and really hear what the other person is saying. Avoid passing judgments. Look for common ground you share.
Hate has no place to sit at the holiday table…only if we bring it with us in our hearts. Family connectedness is important for us all and peace is a corner stone of holiday celebrations. Decide to carry peace in your heart this holiday season.
Treating others with respect and kindness is important no matter what beliefs we each have. Our country has so much mending to do if we are ever to be more unified and actually civil again.
The holidays are actually a perfect time to practice using coping tools for your election anxiety stress. And a perfect time to mend the divide that exists due political difference within your family system.
We have to start somewhere. This season is a great time to begin. We can celebrate with joy that we have the right to be who we are, think as we do and love those who love us too.
So, gather up your courage and strength. Face the election anxiety stress you carry. Write it out in a journal, walk it out as you rant and spew, talk it out with a like-minded friend, cry it out as tears release stress chemicals that build up in our systems. Defuse it so it does not have control over you. Rather you take control over it.
Stay in this moment. Stop yourself from projecting into the future. No one has a crystal ball. When we project a future moment in our brain we only add to the stress we carry. And truth be told we are doing this to ourselves. We do not know what the next moment will bring. We just don’t. There is no way that we can. There are endless variables that contribute to each moment life brings.
Find tools to navigate your way through any challenging moments this holiday season and practice using them. Let the peace in your heart guide you as you give family relationships the importance they deserve. Celebrate your family this holiday season. Refuse to let the election and your election anxiety stress tear it apart!
We do each matter, we each make a difference in the world around us. How I act and behave, what I say and do affects others. As the old Golden Rule saying goes—treat others as you would like to be treated!
I found a special recipe years ago that hangs in my kitchen as a reminder:
The 2 key ingredients in this recipe for me are love and forgiveness. Family relationships are complex, as imperfect as we all are and clearly important. We would not be filled with upset, anger, anxiety including election anxiety stress if we did not care about the people we call family.
Remember to have compassion for yourself too. The holiday season is a challenging time all by itself and even more so with election anxiety stress added to it. Take good care of you. Plan for some self-care time and activities to help you de-stress and de-compress. Celebrate the hard work that you are doing!
Do Contact me if you need some additional support during this holiday season. Anxiety Therapy can make a difference.
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
