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Flickering as I go…

It has been a long time since I’ve written a post…frankly with all the horror going on in the world, the war in Ukraine and mass shootings here in the US plus my long haul Covid that just will not go away, it has been hard to find inspirations for myself let alone ones to share with you.

I have been inconsistent in my meditation practice for many months now…I feel it too in how disconnected and gloomy I have been.

Bottom line I haven’t wanted what is happening to be happening…I’ve been fighting against what is and that has been costly…I’ve lost connection to a centeredness I was once able to readily grasp hold of in the midst of life going on around me.

Yesterday I sat and renewed my practice…”Everything is as it should be”…staring into the flame of my candle and read the inspirational pieces I’ve collected and once focused on each day. It helped…my mood turned around.

This morning I practiced again and was brought to tears by the tag from a tea bag I saved: “Celebrate your successes and failures; both required great courage.”

As the candle flame danced with the breeze from an open door it came to me that has been me flickering about unable to settle down and be centered. And in fact, it has taken great courage for me to flicker as I have, being lost in the winds of life being life. In that moment I smiled with me and these hard times I am actually enduring even though not from a centered space of calm.

I can feel the sadness, the gloom, the fear, the frustration, the disconnection and let that be as it is too. All of it is just a part of the process of life and of learning as I go.

It is hard riding through the ebbs and flows life brings us at any age or stage of life or time period we live in…it just is for everyone!

May I, may you, may we all be balanced and at peace!

What successes and failures can you celebrate today?