Great Expectations

Tis that time of year when the world falls in love…so says that song I hear in my head. We carry with us many expectations this time of year that so often don’t meet up with reality.

It is the difference between what actually is and what we hope, want, yearn for, believe is supposed to happen that creates our suffering any time of year and especially this time of year.

By this midlife time of life, we’ve come to know loss and our holiday gatherings are missing people who once shared in our lives. Their memory remains ever present in our hearts. And we miss them.

We can be kind and gentle with ourselves this holiday season as we recognize and accept rather than stuff our feelings of grief.

We can purposefully give ourselves time and space to shed our tears. We can remember the reality that loss is a part of life itself and learn to negotiate our way straight through the pain that loss brings. This is how we heal.

By this midlife time of life, we’ve experienced numerous family gatherings that bring forth an array of dynamics, challenges and emotions.

We can learn to accept our not so picture perfect family.

We don’t have control of anyone but ourselves. We can focus on our own emotional reactions and behaviors by observing our thoughts and judgments and make a conscious choice about how we want to behave. Keeping focus on our own self is a powerful gift we give to not only to ourselves but to our loved ones as well.

By this midlife time of life, we are beginning to take a bit longer to get things done. This is just the way it is. We can acknowledge that we have limited energy and pick and choose where to place the energy that we do have.

We can let go of the expectations we have created for what our holiday experience “should” look or be like.

We can let it be good enough and stop our grasps for a perfection that doesn’t really exist. We can use our senses to be more fully present in the moment we are in and experience simple pleasures we so readily over look.

We can with conscious intentional practice learn to live life on life’s terms rather than through the expectations we carry that cloud our minds and heavy our hearts. In doing so we free ourselves from suffering and experience a joy that only the acceptance of what is can bring.

What will you make intentional practice of accepting this holiday season?