Life Lessons

I happen to believe that things do happen just as they are supposed to happen in our lives and that we learn a great many life lessons from each and every one of those happenings.

It was meant for me to be as sick as I have been. I’ve been learning a lot from it about a great many things including myself that I would not have learned other wise. For this extended illness I am actually grateful as strange as that is to say.

One of the things I realized today is that I currently have a lot of “everything is as it should be” some what difficult things going on in my own life and in the lives of people who are in my life. It seems like my plate is full. And, this is making it really challenging for me at times to easily go to the ”everything is as it should be” place of acceptance and peace inside!

There are simple things like the challenges of getting around the small town I live in because of major road projects. It seemingly is not easy to get just about anywhere without coming into contact with a road project that has an impact on the drive and time it takes. Then there are health problems for special people in my life that are worrisome. And then, I have a young second cousin who died unexpectedly after jumping out of a moving vehicle. His extended family members have health issues and a cousin of mine has been very stressed dealing with all that is on her plate with all of this. Being home I’ve been able to be in touch with her and offer support. Thankfully, ‘everything is…as it should be!”

And then, there is my own condition that is taking a very long time to slowly improve. I’ve completed a third week at home of mostly resting on the couch for most of my day. I try to go for a slow walk each morning when I am up for it. I’ve been able to do some grocery shopping for us which takes all my energy and effort to complete. I am able to do only a fraction of my normal daily activity. I get very tired and am weak but can see slow improvements thankfully.

I’ve had to let go of attending a conference I so badly wanted to attend and am letting go of an overnight trip up north next week that I was really looking forward to doing. And this is all because I am simply not up to it.

Instead of a trip up north we decided to have a stay-cation right here in good old River City AKA Holland MI and play tourist here for a few days. This way I can come home and nap in between as needed in the comfort of my own home. We can do as much or as little as needed and still do the rest another time rather easily too! There are many things in this area I’ve wanted to do and not done. Perhaps next week I can cross one or two of those things off my list!

I want to do more than I really can. It has not been easy to accept my limitations!

Thankfully I know “this too shall pass” but, of course, I want what I want to do right now and I can’t. These last five weeks have helped me to better understand what people who develop disabilities must endure and what it is like when getting older happens to us all. I only hope I can use my experience to better empathize with people in my clinical practice.

I’ve been learning how to pace myself, and to say no to me when I want to tackle too much at one time or simply too much to begin with. I suspect learning this will perhaps help me not only today but into my future too.

All this is meant for many reasons I know way deep inside. I’m learning a lot!

I went through a grief process a week ago and found myself frustrated with those people who exposed me to the initial virus. I thought about saying a few things to them so that they might think before doing something like that in the future too. I chose rather to keep my mouth shut and worked on accepting that “everything is as it should be” instead. At moments this has not been easy for sure!

It has been important for me to step back and learn life lessons from the choices that I’ve made. I contributed to my condition by being careless about washing my hands. Not so anymore! I have hand sanitizer I use now when out in public and wipe down my grocery cart with those wipes that stores provide too! I hope to not contract such a virus again and I will do my best towards that end unlike before.

I, of course, want to have control and in reality have little other than working on my own attitude and my “own stuff” as I call it…we all got “stuff” to work on in life we just do. This is where my power lies.

I find it most helpful to take my morning sunrise walk. I feel very connected to the world around me at that hour. It is beautiful and peaceful and as I slowly walk into the sunrise I feel the arms of the universe surrounding me letting me know it’s all ok!

Ain’t life grand! Thankfully we learn more every day! And don’t stop learning and discovering more about ourselves till we take our last breath too!

But, please do remember to wash your hands often and buy a big bottle of hand sanitizer too!

What life lessons have you learned about “your stuff” today?