Phone: 616-217-9489 | eMail: jude@midlifetoolsforliving.com
JD's Midlife Tools For Living Practices, LLC
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Do you struggle with memories of past trauma that’s been triggered by recent news coverage? The current news and political climate can be more PTSD trauma triggering than ever!
With all the focus on difficult topics like sexual assault, immigration, and natural disasters, it can be difficult to separate current events from your own trauma history. It does takes time, courage and support to learn how to deal with these reminders.
Go for a walk, run, dance to a favorite song. Our senses are very much involved in the ways that we store memories. We can combat and even create new memories through our senses by engaging in some of the activities that bring calm.
By simply focusing on your breath you are practicing being mindful! Of course, your mind will wander and when it does just gently bring it back to notice your inhales and exhales. Doing this will help change you physiological responses to upsetting images and emotions by clearing your mind of the past.
Or call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 to be connected with a trained, caring counselor for emotional support.
Both the DDH and Lifeline are available 24/7/365 and your calls are free and confidential.
The DDH also has a texting option (text TalkWithUs to 66746; standard messaging/data rates apply). The Lifeline also offers text and chat options, which can be accessed by texting 988.
What coping tools will you use today?
If you’re struggling with past traumatic experiences, reaching out for help can be the first step towards healing.
Do Contact me today! I specialize in PTSD Treatment.
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
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Do you drink alcohol as a way to calm your anxious feelings? I hate to be the bearer of bad news…but…while drinking alcohol sometimes seems like a helpful way to ease your anxiety the effects are only temporary. Once the drink is gone the temporary ease you get goes away. And you may actually feel even worse than before you picked up the beverage!
Alcohol is both a stimulant and a sedative which means you feel more energetic and engaged and also calm and relaxed when you have a drink.
Alcohol can interfere in you getting a restful night’s sleep. It can make it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep after you drink. And then you end up having even higher amounts of anxiety the next day because of it. We need good sleep specially to elevate anxious feelings.
Ever have hangover anxiety the day after even if you don’t drink frequently? You may wake up worried about what happened while you were drinking. If you already have an anxiety disorder your hangover symptoms can end up being much worse.
Having an anxiety disorder puts you at a higher risk of developing an alcohol use disorder. One out of five people with anxiety report using alcohol to cope with anxiety. Drinking alcohol makes it more difficult to control and manage your emotions and can increase your chances of developing an anxiety disorder.
If you are having problems limiting your drinking and coping with anxiety it’s important that you talk this over with your doctor. Your provider is trained to help evaluate and treat your conditions and will do so without judgment!
Bottom line is Alcohol + Anxiety = a not so healthy way to cope with life’s challenges that can add to rather than take them away!
How is your use of alcohol affecting you?
Do Contact Me. I specialize in Anxiety Therapy and Substance Abuse Treatment!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Do you find yourself wondering if your partner truly has feelings for you?
Are you looking for constant reassurances from your partner?
Do you aim to please at all costs sometimes to your own detriment?
Are you clingy and want to be around your partner constantly?
Do you doubt your romantic compatibility?
Do you over analyze words or actions looking for signs of trouble?
Are you constantly worring your partner will end the relationship?
Do you end up spending more time worrying about the relationship than you do enjoying it?
All your yes answers are signs that you may be experiencing relationship anxiety!
When we care very deeply about someone it’s understandable to worry about them from time to time. But when these concerns become unhealthy they can become injurious to your own health.
Could be fueled by an anxious attachment style created when you were growing up and the relationship you shared with your parents. Or by a past relationship where your self-worth was jeopardized. Perhaps due to your own low self-esteem and self-doubt. Maybe you don’t have the ability to communicate openly about what you are lacking or what you need with your partner.
Learning how to simply communicate openly about your concerns, challenges and being truthful with your partner is an important step.
Digging deep muscling up the courage to face the reasons you are experiencing this anxiety will help you mend past wounds and give you securer footing in your life’s journey.
It’s possible to learn to use tools to manage your anxiety and to change dysfunctional thoughts you have about yourself, your self-worth and also about your partner. It takes practice and patience.
What could be fueling your relationship anxiety?
Anxiety Therapy can help! Give me a call today!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Designed by Freepik
It just keeps on keeping on a comin’…more violence, more shootings, more deadly storms, more war, leaving more pain and suffering unfolding as we watch, read, scroll through it all yet one a more a time! I don’t know about you but some moments my heart just can’t bare another gruesome story. It all gets just to be too much. We all need a little anxiety therapy coping tips!
The world is a pretty scary place. How in the world can we keep dealing with it all without compromising our mental health?
Here are a few tips to help ease your anxious media mind:
The effects of reading and watching all the negativity can really harm our mind, body and spirit!
If you find yourself having intrusive thoughts about a new article or current events, find yourself filled with anger, resentment or overly anxious, drink more alcohol to self-medicate, or have little other interests beyond watching/reading the news it may be time to reach out for some Anxiety Therapy so your distress doesn’t grow even higher and your life’s journey can get back on track once again!
What will I do differently to manage my media intake?
Check out the Anxiety Therapy page for more information about anxiety!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Life is a journey filled with bumpy roads and unexpected turns as we traverse the mountains, hills and valleys of living. Our midlife journey is no different.
The midlife road brings us many new challenges like parenting roles that change, older parents to lend care to, shifting careers, losses to grieve, an empty nest to adapt to, changing hormones to contend with, bodies that begin to show some wear, time itself seems to speeds up and we begin to clearly see that life will indeed come to an end sooner than later too.
I recall a profound moment of realization when the thought that I had less life yet to live than I have already lived hit me between the eyes. It made me pause and reflect on my life.
It’s an opportune time to review and reset our vision for our future. There is plenty of positive growth during midlife as we consider new possibilities and opportunities to engage in life, strengthen our relationships, review and change old destructive behaviors and patterns in our lives.
We have life experiences and skills to draw upon and learn from. We are at a point of being able to step back and reframe old harmful thinking into a healthier mindset…sometimes to do so a bit of therapy support can be just what we need to help us smooth out a bumpy uphill road.
Having a sense of purpose, staying physically active, eating a healthy diet and getting enough sleep can help protect our physical and mental health in our midlife.
Most of the insecurities of our youth have faded away and we are more confident in ourselves and know what is most important to us. We have deeper and more meaningful relationships, and tend to give more freely of our time and energy. And we’ve gained wisdom having traversed the mountains, hills and valleys of living all the moments of our life until now!
Contact Me if you are having difficulty negotiating through your midlife journey…therapy can help!
What realizations have come during your midlife journey?
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
I just read a chilling statement “Gun violence is a fixture in American life” published in the BBC News on April 16, 2023. It still stuns me to see in print what I’ve feared to be true.
Gun violence is so commonplace it is a reality we’ve come to know all too well. It’s a fixture, an established fact, an invariably present element, something securely and usually permanent, stuck or ‘fixed’ in our culture.
It simply is a part of who we are in this country.
In the last couple of days two people were shot and one died because of an innocent mistake—they went to the wrong house. They posed no threat and were shot because they dared being on someone’s property by mistake.
So, we watch the news, see the events unfold, witness the grieving families and communities and feel our own shock and outrage and on it goes and on it goes…and yet again on it goes.
It’s become much too common place.
Gun violence is such a fixture that I feel compelled to add some resources on this website for those struggling to learn more and tools to help cope with this ‘fixture’ in our lives.
Please check out the “Practice Tools” page for ‘Gun Violence’ resources.
The crocuses are croaking up a storm brightening up my yard. It has been delightful to see some color emerging over the last couple of weeks. I’ve noticed a bit of a spring in my step too as the days get longer and the sun is warming up the earth.
I so do enjoy spring. The birds do too or at least they seem to be singing happier tunes. There is freshness in the air that fills me with hope.
It is a joyful time of growth as the earth blossoms and bursts with new activity.
Mother Nature is hard at work having rested over the long winter season. I’m ready for more activity too. My fingers are eager to dig in the dirt once again tending to my flower beds. Gardening therapy is right around the corner for me I can feel it!
I am fortunate to live in a place that has dramatic seasonal changes throughout the year. Each season brings with it special things to enjoy. Spring just happens to be a favorite for me. I want to savor it and take it all in.
Time passes all too quickly and seems to speed up every year. This glorious time of year will be gone in the blink of an eye.
It’s an opportune time for me to practice mindfulness so I can be more fully present to soak it all up and be grateful for these wondrous moments of springtime!
What do you enjoy about springtime?
BUDS! Yes, buds on a few trees and on our forsythia bush!! You know what that means…spring is on its way!
I’ve had a few hopefully very hardy daffodils coming up for weeks now that have been snowed upon several times too. I always hope they know what they are doing when they poke up ahead of Mother Nature’s final call for spring to arrive.
But these trees and bushes well, they tell a different story…they bring hope that Mother Nature is getting herself ready for a spring revival once again and fairly soon too. The sun is brighter and warmer as it inches its way north and we are all responding with glee.
So, do go out and take a peak and see what surprises Mother Earth has in your neighborhood just waiting for you to discover! It might just bring a smile to you face and, in your heart, too!
What early spring surprises do you notice outside your door?
Did you know that as of February 23rd there have been 85 mass shootings in the US since January 1st! The year got off with a literal bang in 6 different mass shooting locations in 5 different states on January 1st, too per Gun Violence Archive
( https://www.gunviolencearchive.org ).
That number of 85 mass shootings is bigger than the number of days of 2023 by 31. There were only 9 days thus far in 2023 that were mass shooting free days.
I wonder what today will bring?
Each time I see yet another incident on the news I do wonder if it will ever stop! We get all worked up after an incident occurs after more life is lost at the hand of a gun wielding assailant. Voices cry out for change and possibilities are suggested. And then life goes on and we go about our day…till the next one that is.
So far in spite of lots of talk nothing has changed and I know if nothing changes nothing changes.
No one is safe or immune from being a victim of gun violence. Doesn’t matter if you are tucked away at home or head to the grocery store or attend a church service or are in school or go to a large outdoor gathering or shop in a mall. Doesn’t matter if you live in a big city or small town, or if you are an adult or a child either. We are all potential targets.
I wish I had a magic want to swish it all away and fix whatever is broken and contributes to this rather complex problem. I don’t pretend to know what all the contributing factors or possible solutions entail. I just know it is a rather big problem growing bigger too with each day and each shooting and each life senselessly lost.
I only hope we don’t grow immune to the pain, to the outrage and fear we feel. I only hope someday very soon we can come together as a country to determine all that needs to be changed and fix what needs to be fixed to stop and prevent more mass shootings and deaths and changed forever lives and finally “Just Do It” as the old Niki slogan suggests! Its goanna take us all to resolve this one.
How does a mass shooting event affect you?
Check out the Practice Tools page for resources to help cope with gun violence!
Some moments are very easy for me to be in them, immersed and taking it all in. Some moments my mind takes me on trips far away from what is actually going on around me in the here and now.
The outdoors generally makes it easier for me to be present rather up in my head thinking away.
Today is a good example of that…we have been snowed upon. The kind that rests on the tree limbs, trunk sand pine tree branches too. It’s a heavy wet snow. It’s very picturesque and grabs my attention.
I enjoy being outside when the snow is fresh. It seems to dampen the normal sounds that I might otherwise hear and creates a kind of silence that I don’t often hear living where I am at.
Silence deep silence is not all that common of an experience. And it moves me when I have glimpses of it. It makes me tip toe and whisper so as not to disturb it. It is something that awes me, something to be treasured and respected. Something important to be present for…a gift.
That is what the present moment is really, a gift.
We just have to take an intentional moment to experience it!
What is present in this moment for you?
Photo by Muffin Creatives; Pexels
We’ve consumed pizza in many different formats over the years. For a long time, my husband made us pizza of the homemade variety including sauce he made from scratch. This was a throwback to days very long ago when he worked in a pizza parlor and copied the recipe…oh but, please keep that to yourself!
And we’ve tried pizza from many different pizza places here in town…switching as we grew tired of one on to another place. It was the thing I did for years on my way home from work and grocery shopping…picked us up a pizza.
When COVID took over we ended up resorting to frozen pizzas with an occasional pick up one on special kind of Fridays. Recently my husband made us a yummy homemade one…I’d forgotten just how delicious those are…but that was a Happy Pizza Sunday celebration not Friday.
Friday seems like an important day of the week to celebrate…the end of the work week and the beginning of home time. And it’s one that comes around often like every week too so you don’t have to wait too long and yet have something fun and yummy to look forward to.
It’s the little traditions that bring joy and can take any ordinary day and turn it into one that we celebrate.
So, here’s to yet another Happy Pizza Friday to you!
What is a little joy you celebrate in your life?
Here we sit on the cusp of a brand-New Year watching the old one fad away. We may find ourselves wondering exactly where this next year will take us as we travel the road of our life’s journey.
We may be making plans for where we’d like the road to go with hopes life steers us in the direction of our dreams. We may be reviewing where we’ve already traversed all the mountains and hurdles we’ve climbed, all the rivers and streams we’ve crossed, all the plans that were fulfilled and those we let go of.
It’s that time of year for reflection for looking both behind and ahead.
But no matter where we’ve been or where we go ‘we’ are still there. And ‘we’ still need to contend with ourselves no matter where we are, no matter how life goes, no matter where the road of our life takes us.
Making peace within ourselves for, with and about ourselves, the whole bloody picture we see when we take a good peek at that person we call self is at times a pretty mountainous task. It is however my wish for you in this New Year…finding peace deep within you, making peace deep within you…for the one and only you!
Please give yourself a great big hug of acceptance this New Year from my heart to yours!
Jude
