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Finding Help When Your PTSD Trauma Resurfaces

Trauma flashbacks are one of the symptoms those with PTSD experience. They can develop at any time, especially when you’re triggered by events that remind you in some way of your past trauma. When having a flashback, you may relive the whole experience of your trauma again or go through just certain parts of it.

What triggers a trauma flashback?

A trauma flashback can be triggered by particular places, people, situations, smells, touches, sights, sounds that remind you of the trauma in some way. Or you may find that flashbacks seem to happen at random. They can last for just a few seconds, or continue for several hours or even days.

During a trauma flashback some people experience sweating, confusion, increased heart rate. They can see images of the traumatic event happening, feel pain and other physical sensations, hear word or sounds related to the trauma event. They also feel disconnected from their body, emotions and memory and come out of the flashback not understanding where they are or how they got there.

What To Do When You Have A Trauma Flashback

Flashbacks can be very distressing, but there are things you can do that to help you cope and navigate your way:

  • Focus on your breathing. When we are frightened, we can stop breathing normally. This increases feelings of fear and panic, so it can help to concentrate on breathing slowly in and out while counting to five.
  • Carry an object that reminds you of the present. Some people find it helpful to touch or look at a particular object during a flashback. This might be something you decide to carry in your pocket or bag, or something that you have with you anyway, like a keyring or a piece of jewelry.
  • Tell yourself that you are safe. Remind yourself that the trauma is over and you are safe now. It can be hard to think in this way during a flashback, so write down or record some useful phrases at a time when you’re feeling better that you can refer to when you need it.
  • Comfort yourself. You could curl up in a blanket, cuddle a pet, listen to soothing music or watch a favorite film.
  • Keep a diary. Making a note of what happens when you have a flashback can help you spot patterns in what triggers bring on the flashback for you. You can learn to notice early signs that they are beginning to happen.
  • Try grounding techniques. Grounding techniques can keep you connected to the present and help you cope with flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, difficult feelings and memories. Grounding techniques include:
    • Describe your surroundings out loud or count objects of a particular type or color.
    • Breathing slowly while counting
    • Noticing with focus all the different sounds around you
    • Walking barefoot and noticing how the ground feels beneath your feet and toes
    • Wrapping yourself in a blanket and paying attention to how it feels around your body
    • Holding an ice cube in your hands or splashing cold water on your face
    • Touching something with an interesting texture with concentration and focus
    • Sniffing something with a strong smell taking in the smell with focus
    • Focusing on the sensations you are feeling right now

It can be helpful to keep a box of things with different textures and smells. Perhaps include things like a blanket, smooth stones, a bottle of lavender or another essential oil, peppermint chewing gum. That way you will have items ready to use when you need them the most!

Experiencing flashbacks may be a sign that you are struggling to confront or cope with the traumatic event you experienced. Treatment can help you with this!

Learn more about PTSD Treatment and Contact Me if you are ready start therapy today.

What coping tools will you try the next time you have a flashback?

JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools

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Do Seek PTSD Treatment If You Have These Symptoms

After experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD can develop. It is a mental health condition that can often go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed and affects both men and women.

Symptoms of PTSD

According to The American Psychiatric Association, the symptoms of PTSD fall into four categories and vary in how severe a person experiences them.

  1. Intrusion: “Intrusive thoughts such as repeated, involuntary memories; distressing dreams; or flashbacks of the traumatic event. Flashbacks may be so vivid that people feel they are reliving the traumatic experience or seeing it before their eyes.”*
  2. Avoidance: “Avoiding reminders of the traumatic event may include avoiding people, places, activities, objects and situations that may trigger distressing memories. People may try to avoid remembering or thinking about the traumatic event. They may resist talking about what happened or how they feel about it.” *
  3. Changes in thinking and mood: “Inability to remember important aspects of the traumatic event, negative thoughts and feelings leading to ongoing and distorted beliefs about oneself or others (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted”); distorted thoughts about the cause or consequences of the event leading to wrongly blaming self or other; ongoing fear, horror, anger, guilt or shame; much less interest in activities previously enjoyed; feeling detached or estranged from others; or being unable to experience positive emotions (a void of happiness or satisfaction).”*
  4. Changes in arousal and reactivity: “Arousal and reactive symptoms may include being irritable and having angry outbursts; behaving recklessly or in a self-destructive way; being overly watchful of one’s surroundings in a suspecting way; being easily startled; or having problems concentrating or sleeping.” *

How soon do symptoms start?

Many people who are exposed to a traumatic event experience symptom similar to these in the days following the event.

For a person to be diagnosed with PTSD the symptoms must last for more than a month and must cause significant distress or problems in the individual’s life and daily functioning. Many individuals develop symptoms within three months of the trauma, but symptoms can appear later on and often persist for months and sometimes years. You do not have to experience all of the symptoms to be diagnosed with PTSD.

Other Mental Health Concerns Associated With PTSD

There are other conditions alongside PTSD that people who have been exposed to a traumatic event experience like depression, substance use, memory problems and other physical and mental problems.

According to The American Psychiatric Association, “It is important to note that not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD, and not everyone who develops PTSD requires psychiatric treatment. For some people, symptoms of PTSD subside or disappear over time. Others get better with the help of their support system (family, friends or clergy).”

“But many people with PTSD need professional treatment to recover from psychological distress that can be intense and disabling. It is important to remember that trauma may lead to severe distress. That distress is not the individual’s fault, and PTSD is treatable. The earlier a person gets treatment, the better chance of recovery.”

If you think you may be experiencing PTSD please know that with treatment you can learn to manage your symptoms and improve the quality of your life!

Are you suffering with undiagnosed PTSD?

Learn more about therapy with me: PTSD Treatment

Contact Me to get your treatment started today!

JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools

*From the article:
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd

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Coping With Resurfacing Trauma

Do you struggle with memories of past trauma that’s been triggered by recent news coverage? The current news and political climate can be more PTSD trauma triggering than ever!

With all the focus on difficult topics like sexual assault, immigration, and natural disasters, it can be difficult to separate current events from your own trauma history. It does takes time, courage and support to learn how to deal with these reminders.

How To Deal With News Triggered PTSD Trauma

  • Do engage your senses and/or use physical activity to self-soothe. When you have difficult emotions come up, take time to engage in self-care. You can do a self-soothing activity that stimulates your senses in a nurturing way. Like take a long warm bath, get a massage, use essential oils, spend time in nature, get elbow-deep in dirt by gardening.

    Go for a walk, run, dance to a favorite song. Our senses are very much involved in the ways that we store memories. We can combat and even create new memories through our senses by engaging in some of the activities that bring calm.

  • Do channel your feelings by writing perhaps in a journal about your traumatic memories and experiences and/or describe what feelings have been triggered as you write. You may find writing poetry a way to help express your emotions without focusing on the actual trauma. Any way you do it writing is often an effective coping for difficult memories.
  • Do practice mindfulness to stay in the present moment rather than being overwhelmed by memories of past traumas or thinking with worry about the future.

    By simply focusing on your breath you are practicing being mindful! Of course, your mind will wander and when it does just gently bring it back to notice your inhales and exhales. Doing this will help change you physiological responses to upsetting images and emotions by clearing your mind of the past.

Reach for support from others

  • Do talk with somebody with whom you feel safe.
  • Do find a therapist who you can trust. Therapy is a long-term solution for learning how to cope effectively with trauma, flashbacks, and other post-traumatic stress symptoms. Finding the right therapist for PTSD Treatment can really make a difference; it is worth the investment.
  • Do call NOW if you find yourself in need of immediate assistance! Don’t wait call the national Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990

    Or call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 to be connected with a trained, caring counselor for emotional support.

    Both the DDH and Lifeline are available 24/7/365 and your calls are free and confidential.

    The DDH also has a texting option (text TalkWithUs to 66746; standard messaging/data rates apply). The Lifeline also offers text and chat options, which can be accessed by texting 988.

What coping tools will you use today?

If you’re struggling with past traumatic experiences, reaching out for help can be the first step towards healing.

Do Contact me today! I specialize in PTSD Treatment.

JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools

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Learn why drinking does not help

​Do you drink alcohol as a way to calm your anxious feelings? I hate to be the bearer of bad news…but…while drinking alcohol sometimes seems like a helpful way to ease your anxiety the effects are only temporary. Once the drink is gone the temporary ease you get goes away. And you may actually feel even worse than before you picked up the beverage!

What alcohol does to your body

Alcohol is both a stimulant and a sedative which means you feel more energetic and engaged and also calm and relaxed when you have a drink.

Alcohol can interfere in you getting a restful night’s sleep. It can make it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep after you drink. And then you end up having even higher amounts of anxiety the next day because of it. We need good sleep specially to elevate anxious feelings.

Ever have hangover anxiety the day after even if you don’t drink frequently? You may wake up worried about what happened while you were drinking. If you already have an anxiety disorder your hangover symptoms can end up being much worse.

Having an anxiety disorder puts you at a higher risk of developing an alcohol use disorder. One out of five people with anxiety report using alcohol to cope with anxiety. Drinking alcohol makes it more difficult to control and manage your emotions and can increase your chances of developing an anxiety disorder.

If you are having problems limiting your drinking and coping with anxiety it’s important that you talk this over with your doctor. Your provider is trained to help evaluate and treat your conditions and will do so without judgment!

There is help

Bottom line is Alcohol + Anxiety = a not so healthy way to cope with life’s challenges that can add to rather than take them away!

How is your use of alcohol affecting you?

Do Contact Me. I specialize in Anxiety Therapy and Substance Abuse Treatment!

JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools

She/He loves me? She/He loves me not?

relationship anxiety holland, mi

Do you find yourself wondering if your partner truly has feelings for you?
Are you looking for constant reassurances from your partner?
Do you aim to please at all costs sometimes to your own detriment?
Are you clingy and want to be around your partner constantly?
Do you doubt your romantic compatibility?
Do you over analyze words or actions looking for signs of trouble?
Are you constantly worring your partner will end the relationship?
Do you end up spending more time worrying about the relationship than you do enjoying it?

All your yes answers are signs that you may be experiencing relationship anxiety!

Working Through Relationship Anxiety

When we care very deeply about someone it’s understandable to worry about them from time to time. But when these concerns become unhealthy they can become injurious to your own health.

It’s important to figure out what is causing your relationship anxiety.

Could be fueled by an anxious attachment style created when you were growing up and the relationship you shared with your parents. Or by a past relationship where your self-worth was jeopardized. Perhaps due to your own low self-esteem and self-doubt. Maybe you don’t have the ability to communicate openly about what you are lacking or what you need with your partner.

There are ways to get anxiety in a relationship under control.

Learning how to simply communicate openly about your concerns, challenges and being truthful with your partner is an important step.

Digging deep muscling up the courage to face the reasons you are experiencing this anxiety will help you mend past wounds and give you securer footing in your life’s journey.

It’s possible to learn to use tools to manage your anxiety and to change dysfunctional thoughts you have about yourself, your self-worth and also about your partner. It takes practice and patience.

What could be fueling your relationship anxiety?

Anxiety Therapy can help! Give me a call today!

JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools

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How To Cope With Negative Media

It just keeps on keeping on a comin’…more violence, more shootings, more deadly storms, more war, leaving more pain and suffering unfolding as we watch, read, scroll through it all yet one a more a time! I don’t know about you but some moments my heart just can’t bare another gruesome story. It all gets just to be too much. We all need a little anxiety therapy coping tips!

The world is a pretty scary place. How in the world can we keep dealing with it all without compromising our mental health?

Responding To Bad News

Here are a few tips to help ease your anxious media mind:

  • Restrict your media diet. Turn off the TV set, your cell phone, and your lap top have tech free periods when/where possible by design and choice!
  • Turn off your smartphone news notifications so you aren’t tempted to look at the latest disaster as it unfolds!
  • Make a no-screen policy for meal times so you can mindfully consume your food and pay important attention to those around you!
  • Write down stressful headlines on paper to help yourself slow down your own processing of the event!
  • Set a timer when you are checking the news to limit the amount of time you spend!
  • Take action. If you are anxious about a particular event take some kind of action like volunteer, sign a petition, donate to a cause, write a letter… taking action helps us not feel so helpless!

The effects of reading and watching all the negativity can really harm our mind, body and spirit!

If you find yourself having intrusive thoughts about a new article or current events, find yourself filled with anger, resentment or overly anxious, drink more alcohol to self-medicate, or have little other interests beyond watching/reading the news it may be time to reach out for some Anxiety Therapy so your distress doesn’t grow even higher and your life’s journey can get back on track once again!

Do give me a call today!

What will I do differently to manage my media intake?

Check out the Anxiety Therapy page for more information about anxiety!

JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools

Life challenges us in our midlife journey and rewards us too!

Life is a journey filled with bumpy roads and unexpected turns as we traverse the mountains, hills and valleys of living. Our midlife journey is no different.

The midlife road brings us many new challenges like parenting roles that change, older parents to lend care to, shifting careers, losses to grieve, an empty nest to adapt to, changing hormones to contend with, bodies that begin to show some wear, time itself seems to speeds up and we begin to clearly see that life will indeed come to an end sooner than later too.

I recall a profound moment of realization when the thought that I had less life yet to live than I have already lived hit me between the eyes. It made me pause and reflect on my life.

Self-reflection is a hallmark feature of midlife.

It’s an opportune time to review and reset our vision for our future. There is plenty of positive growth during midlife as we consider new possibilities and opportunities to engage in life, strengthen our relationships, review and change old destructive behaviors and patterns in our lives.

We have life experiences and skills to draw upon and learn from. We are at a point of being able to step back and reframe old harmful thinking into a healthier mindset…sometimes to do so a bit of therapy support can be just what we need to help us smooth out a bumpy uphill road.

Having a sense of purpose, staying physically active, eating a healthy diet and getting enough sleep can help protect our physical and mental health in our midlife.

Midlife has much to offer us.

Most of the insecurities of our youth have faded away and we are more confident in ourselves and know what is most important to us. We have deeper and more meaningful relationships, and tend to give more freely of our time and energy. And we’ve gained wisdom having traversed the mountains, hills and valleys of living all the moments of our life until now!

Contact Me if you are having difficulty negotiating through your midlife journey…therapy can help!

What realizations have come during your midlife journey?

JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools


​I just read a chilling statement “Gun violence is a fixture in American life” published in the BBC News on April 16, 2023. It still stuns me to see in print what I’ve feared to be true.

Gun violence is so commonplace it is a reality we’ve come to know all too well. It’s a fixture, an established fact, an invariably present element, something securely and usually permanent, stuck or ‘fixed’ in our culture.

It simply is a part of who we are in this country.

In the last couple of days two people were shot and one died because of an innocent mistake—they went to the wrong house. They posed no threat and were shot because they dared being on someone’s property by mistake.

So, we watch the news, see the events unfold, witness the grieving families and communities and feel our own shock and outrage and on it goes and on it goes…and yet again on it goes.

It’s become much too common place.

Gun violence is such a fixture that I feel compelled to add some resources on this website for those struggling to learn more and tools to help cope with this ‘fixture’ in our lives.

Please check out the “Practice Tools” page for ‘Gun Violence’ resources.


The crocuses are croaking up a storm brightening up my yard. It has been delightful to see some color emerging over the last couple of weeks. I’ve noticed a bit of a spring in my step too as the days get longer and the sun is warming up the earth.

I so do enjoy spring. The birds do too or at least they seem to be singing happier tunes. There is freshness in the air that fills me with hope.

It is a joyful time of growth as the earth blossoms and bursts with new activity.

Mother Nature is hard at work having rested over the long winter season. I’m ready for more activity too. My fingers are eager to dig in the dirt once again tending to my flower beds. Gardening therapy is right around the corner for me I can feel it!

I am fortunate to live in a place that has dramatic seasonal changes throughout the year. Each season brings with it special things to enjoy. Spring just happens to be a favorite for me. I want to savor it and take it all in.

Time passes all too quickly and seems to speed up every year. This glorious time of year will be gone in the blink of an eye.

It’s an opportune time for me to practice mindfulness so I can be more fully present to soak it all up and be grateful for these wondrous moments of springtime!

What do you enjoy about springtime?

BUDS! Yes, buds on a few trees and on our forsythia bush!! You know what that means…spring is on its way!

I’ve had a few hopefully very hardy daffodils coming up for weeks now that have been snowed upon several times too. I always hope they know what they are doing when they poke up ahead of Mother Nature’s final call for spring to arrive.

But these trees and bushes well, they tell a different story…they bring hope that Mother Nature is getting herself ready for a spring revival once again and fairly soon too. The sun is brighter and warmer as it inches its way north and we are all responding with glee.

So, do go out and take a peak and see what surprises Mother Earth has in your neighborhood just waiting for you to discover! It might just bring a smile to you face and, in your heart, too!

What early spring surprises do you notice outside your door?


Did you know that as of February 23rd there have been 85 mass shootings in the US since January 1st! The year got off with a literal bang in 6 different mass shooting locations in 5 different states on January 1st, too per Gun Violence Archive
( https://www.gunviolencearchive.org ).

That number of 85 mass shootings is bigger than the number of days of 2023 by 31. There were only 9 days thus far in 2023 that were mass shooting free days.

I wonder what today will bring?

Each time I see yet another incident on the news I do wonder if it will ever stop! We get all worked up after an incident occurs after more life is lost at the hand of a gun wielding assailant. Voices cry out for change and possibilities are suggested. And then life goes on and we go about our day…till the next one that is.

So far in spite of lots of talk nothing has changed and I know if nothing changes nothing changes.

No one is safe or immune from being a victim of gun violence. Doesn’t matter if you are tucked away at home or head to the grocery store or attend a church service or are in school or go to a large outdoor gathering or shop in a mall. Doesn’t matter if you live in a big city or small town, or if you are an adult or a child either. We are all potential targets.

I wish I had a magic want to swish it all away and fix whatever is broken and contributes to this rather complex problem. I don’t pretend to know what all the contributing factors or possible solutions entail. I just know it is a rather big problem growing bigger too with each day and each shooting and each life senselessly lost.

I only hope we don’t grow immune to the pain, to the outrage and fear we feel. I only hope someday very soon we can come together as a country to determine all that needs to be changed and fix what needs to be fixed to stop and prevent more mass shootings and deaths and changed forever lives and finally “Just Do It” as the old Niki slogan suggests! Its goanna take us all to resolve this one.

How does a mass shooting event affect you?

Check out the Practice Tools page for resources to help cope with gun violence!


Some moments are very easy for me to be in them, immersed and taking it all in. Some moments my mind takes me on trips far away from what is actually going on around me in the here and now.

The outdoors generally makes it easier for me to be present rather up in my head thinking away.
Today is a good example of that…we have been snowed upon. The kind that rests on the tree limbs, trunk sand pine tree branches too. It’s a heavy wet snow. It’s very picturesque and grabs my attention.

I enjoy being outside when the snow is fresh. It seems to dampen the normal sounds that I might otherwise hear and creates a kind of silence that I don’t often hear living where I am at.

Silence deep silence is not all that common of an experience. And it moves me when I have glimpses of it. It makes me tip toe and whisper so as not to disturb it. It is something that awes me, something to be treasured and respected. Something important to be present for…a gift.

That is what the present moment is really, a gift.

We just have to take an intentional moment to experience it!

What is present in this moment for you?

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step...