JD's Midlife Tools For Living Practices, LLC

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In comparison,
405,399 US people died in WWII
116,516 US people died in WWI
58,220 US people died in Vietnam War
36,914 US people died in Korean War
6800 US people died in the Revolutionary War

And, “Since the Revolutionary War ended, 646,596 American troops have died in battle and more than 539,000 died from other, non-combat related causes,” according to Military.com.
( https://www.military.com/memorial-day/how-many-us-militay-members-died-each-american-war.html )

But, 800,473 and soon to be more, people in the US have died due to Covid a far more invasive and lethal enemy than all the others this country has been in battled with to date.

The incredibly sad part is just how many of these deaths could have been prevented and just how many people who die today didn’t really have to. That is if they had just done the right things like mask up, social distance and get vaccinated. They would most likely still be here to enjoy the holidays with their loved ones who instead will be mourning their loss and planning funerals not baking holiday cookies and wrapping gifts. The season for them will be joyless.

This is an incredible tragedy.

Senselessly tragic are those who still pointedly refuse to believe the science and instead are fighting against the very weapons built to keep them safe from harm.

The number of people affected by these individuals are staggering…from family members, to first responders, to all the medical professionals who have worked for nearly 2 years to save lives and are exhausted, to others who have medical emergencies and have to wait in hospital emergency room long lines for care, to those who they cross paths and infect with the virus enemy.

Our actions do affect others.

Perhaps clinging to the belief that one can defy nature blinds some of us. So many have stood tall defending that right and also died a needless painful death. And people persist even as their ranks are struck down by yet another and another blow from the enemy named Covid.

This Covid enemy only wants to take us into its grip. And it has people fighting against each other rather than against it too. It is a powerful enemy indeed.

To those of you I plead: Isn’t it time to put out a white flag and call a truce? Covid will win if you don’t! It will take your life too! It is waiting in dark corners, plotting and planning its next attack. Will you be its next victim?

Thinking ‘it won’t happen to me’ is really signing your own death sentence. That is your weakness and the Covid enemy knows it.

The time to act is now while you still have a choice!

Find your strength and do the right thing. Or you too will die a needless and painful death and become yet another number in the pile of this Covid war’s deaths…and become No. 800, 474 and counting.

I for one do not want to mourn this world’s loss of your life too! The world needs you alive!

​What will you do today to protect yourself from the enemy Covid?

It’s been a fairly dark and stormy year some days for me following a pretty difficult year before this one too.

The year has been a painful one both emotionally and physically in a variety of directions. There were moments too I will not lie that I didn’t think I could go on and brief moments I didn’t want to either. I have been a pretty healthy person all of my life so to have spent the last 9 months unable to do very much has required more of me than at times I knew I had.

Not knowing exactly what is wrong is a strange kind of pain.

It has kept me in search of answers and wondering and even questioning myself some too. It helped me to reach out to others from doctors to researchers to reporters to others challenged with similar health concerns for ideas and information and to find some hope for resolution to this ongoing health dilemma that continues to persist.

This year has brought me a far greater appreciation for people with chronic health conditions.

I marvel at how others manage to do it having glanced into what a limited life is like. Frankly it sucks not being able to do all I want to anytime I want to as well. I have taken so much for granted, so so very much too!

We experience so much grief when our health status changes.

It has been important for me to give myself space to grieve the multitude of losses illness has brought. At first it was fairly easy for me to hold a more jovial attitude and use humor to help me get by. That grew harder to muster as time went on and there is no end to be seen insight.

And then I found once again my ever-helpful meditation mantra: (inhale) everything is (exhale) as it should be. I lost it for a bit in the gloom of the night.

Frankly at times it was hard to open my own tool box! Inside it my tools include: four kittens to help me smile and move, therapy sessions, journaling, walking, stretching, mediation, holding a grateful heart for all my life has brought to me and a multitude of other tools I can readily pick up and use.

I share this so you know that you are not alone in your life journey no matter what challenges you face. We all struggle at times, we just do.

Life is hard work and pain in not something we can avoid no matter who we are.

A journey shared creates healing. Knowing we are not alone brings relief. Out of pain there come awareness and with awareness comes growth!

I hold on to the hope of resuming my career as a therapist and of using my new-found awareness to help support others…after all everything is as it should be…. no matter what life brings… there is a purpose for what this year has taught me!

What new awareness’s have your life challenges this year brought to you?

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2021 has been a harsh year for me full of a multitude of losses but also some important gains that include new and deepening friendships and a focus on those people in my life who are so important to me.

It has been a reminder that even with bad there are good things that we acquire in our life’s journey.

I read in the Parade Magazine that comes with our local newspaper that Covid has boosted resiliency. According to a study done by the Cleveland Clinic and Parade Magazine 75 percent of those surveyed said they felt better equipped to handle life challenges due to their experience over these many months of coping with Covid.

It is suspected that a sense of pride for having survived and developed coping skills for dealing with stress contributes to the boosted resiliency.

When I think about WWII and how hard the Greatest Generation worked to do all they did to thrive and survive, it makes sense to me that now perhaps again out of such a challenging time we as a Nation are gaining strength as we negotiate the ebbs and flows that the Covid challenge has created.

Tis an opportunity for growth that isn’t about to end any time soon with numbers of ill and dying once again rising. It seems to me that we have so much more growing to do as a Nation. We are at such odds-on simple things like vaccines and wearing masks.

Perhaps Covid will not go quietly away until we can figure out just how to play together better! How to quit squabbling and come together for the good of human kind and do what we need to do for the greater good of all.

Then we will truly be strong and resilient and I will have even more to be very grateful for! For now, I hold on to a hope and am grateful for the life lessons I have learned.

What are you grateful for today?

Generally speaking I tend to look before I leap, plan ahead, prepare, check things out…one day this week however I leaped and didn’t look and found a very interesting surprise in the bottom of my coffee cup!

Yes, that little spider in the picture somehow did not end up in my mouth! Thank goodness too!

I can’t imagine how many zillions of times I have poured myself a cup of morning coffee since I was 17 when I started regular coffee drinking and never dreamed of finding a little something in the bottom of my cup let alone actually finding one!

I am not particularly fond of spiders…not sure why they get such a bad rap but they do and I tend to keep a cordial distance from most of them. Daddy long legs however I find fascinating and don’t shy away from them so much.

I tend to assign special meanings to out of the ordinary events when they occur. Like when an owl visits our yard in full view or I hear one close by…that makes for a special day…kind of a good thing… an omen of something positive…some wisdom to befall me perhaps…a sign that I am on the right track.

But a spider in my mug? Yikes…what in the world could that possibly mean….?

I had a choice that day to see that rather unusual event as a vision of spidery things to come or else what? I decided to focus on the part of the event that allowed me to see him and not come to taste him! And be grateful he didn’t stop me from ever enjoying another cup of coffee again!

It really does come down to how we look at things in life doesn’t it!

How many times I have simply gulped down that last bit of coffee in my cup without giving much thought to the brew I can not imagine. I wonder what made me pause and look into the cup and notice that little guy sloshing around the bottom?

Perhaps just perhaps, there was a wise owl quietly sitting outside close by sending me some vibes! Where ever the divine intervention came from I am most grateful!

And I did offer an apology to my drowned little friend who in a matter of a few hours thought he had a safe new home inside my favorite coffee mug…little did we both know!

How will you choose to look at events that unfold in your life today?

A few days ago, on my very slow but accomplished morning walk I discovered the curious wonder that you see pictured here.

From a distance I couldn’t tell what is was. A white beam that looked like it was holding up or helping to keep the mailbox balanced.

It was glistening in the sunshine and caught my attention. Mother Nature had a wonder for me to explore.

And so, I did.

As I approached fine intricate threads carefully woven into what looked like a blanket revealed itself in the sunshine to me. It appeared rather fuzzy and thick and was skillfully attached to the post and the grass below.

There must have been hundreds of thousands of threads shimmering in the sunshine for it to look that full I thought. What a lot of work for a spider to weave such a sparkling blanket! Rather amazing too.

When I moved to the front of the post, my perspective changed. I easily saw through that not so thick blanket! I could easily make out some of the individual amazingly fine threads so skillfully woven.

Just how does a spider create such a master piece? Truly an art form! And just one of the multitudes of little and big natural wonders available to me each day.

Sometimes when we look from different angles we see things in different ways!

It’s important to explore and be curious and open to all really see all that is there. It is easy to miss things or come to a not so accurate conclusions when we are not open to other perspectives.

It is that post that provides a support beam to the spider’s masterpiece and not the other way around as it first appeared to be.

All I have to do is venture outside for a little walk, be present and fully take in what is before me!

And I don’t even have to go very far either….to hear a song bird singing a beautiful tune, watch a Robin snatch a worm and eat it, see a humming bird drink nectar from a flower, watch a chipmunk chase a rabbit, see a ground squirrel with puffed up cheeks full of bird seed, hear the tree tops dancing as the wind moves through them, feel the rain drops on my face, smell the sweet scent of rain, watch a leaf delicately float down to the ground, see the various colors of blue in the sky, catch the sun at she comes up and sets at the end of the day…

I simply have to pause and be present with the wonders Mother Nature presents to me each day!

What is a nature’s wonder in your view right this very minute?

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I didn’t till just a few moments ago when I learned that Peter J. McGuire, a carpenter and labor union leader, was the person who came up with the idea for Labor Day. Mr. McGuire thought American workers should be honored with their own day. So, he proposed his idea to the New York’s Central Labor Union early in 1882, and they decided the holiday was a good idea, too.

There are many special laborers this Labor Day that need to be recognized!

There are many many many people who have endured working the front lines through our Covid pandemic and other natural disasters this past year and still keep going…very much like the good old Energizer Bunny too…

from nurses and doctors to all those who work in the multitude of hospitals, physician offices and health and mental health care offices and cacility’s around our country,
to all the grocery store workers and truck drivers and manufacturing workers and farm workers who keep our supply of grocery goods flowing,
to all the transportation workers and delivery people and a host of manufacturing workers who keep us stocked up on the things we need for our daily lives,
to all the energy and water workers, emergency personnel and first responders, construction and road crews
to all the fire fighters blazing fires that keep on burning his year,
to all those helping to rescue and clean up after all the natural disasters this county has endured
to all the scientists and researchers who keep learning more about this rapidly evolving Covid virus and those who are pushing ahead on climate change initiatives
to all those in the industries that manufacture the vaccines and medicines and medical equipment needed to protect and treat those suffering
to all the business owners whose livelihoods have been interrupted or lost
to all those who have lost jobs due to the various crisis this country is in

I salute you all for the work that you do! I especially am grateful this year to you as well! My life would not be what it is if it weren’t for each one of you!

All jobs, all work is honorable…no matter what job we do…especially in this last year your work has mattered so very much to me!

I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Jude

Image by starline on Freepik

McAllister developed liver failure as her pancreatitis worsened this summer. She hung in there with us as long as she could. I am most grateful to have grown closer to her this year…she kept me company these months of being ill. Little did I realize just how ill she was growing too.

Miss Mac earned her many names from McAaallllvvviiiinnn to McBelly she had a presence all over this house. There are many many empty spots that only Mac a doodle do can fill too. I see her and hear her where ever I go. Those memories bring both a tear and a smile to my heart.

Our furry friends give so much and typically ask for so little.

Mac the Mouth was the exception with a commanding voice and high expectations she knew just how to get her belly rubbed and how to get one of her favorite people food treats too…she ruled this roost! Make no mistake this was her house! I was her humble servant for which I am most honored to have had the job of being.

We shared a special bond deepened this year with the time we had together. She was smarter than the average bear I would tell her. A clever communicative one. I swear we read each other’s minds!

Mac claimed my husband as hers from the moment they met at the humane society and he held a special place for her too.

Ah Miss Mac a doodle do I sure love and miss you! Forever in my heart you will be!

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I learned that phrase many years ago from a person I know via my work. I recall being saddened at the time it was said to me knowing how much this person had endured. What I didn’t appreciate until much later in my life is just how wise this person is! Today I celebrate this person’s wisdom.

It certainly has been the case in my life that through the really tough times I’ve learned so much and grown so much in various ways too.

If it weren’t for that really hard time I would have not grown as I did.

That reality makes it a tad bit more palatable to face in the moment the pain of whatever it is that is really hard to endure.

Good comes from bad.

Sometimes we have to look hard for it. Sometimes we have to wait a long time to see it too.

Adversity strengthens us.

We have to find and use life tools to weather through it, to feel the pain, to grow in the way’s life strengthens us. Giving up diminishes us and prevents the very growth we need to sustain life.

Avoiding pain prevents us from fully living.

Life is painful at times it just is. Life is hard at times it just is. Life is not fair at times it just is not. That is reality. That is life itself it just is!

What are the life tools you use to weather through the really hard times?
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Let me introduce my little Missy McAllister to you in case you have not met her before. She is the one and only in many ways including that she is the last of the 3 kittens we adopted from the Human Society 16 ½ years ago now…the others are in kitty heaven and I visit them in our back yard often and see their pictures on our mantle every day! I miss them.

McAllister has earned many names from McBelly to MacArthur to McAllllvvviiiinnnn….to a host of others…she lets her needs be known in a very vocal way and not softly either!

I am delighted to have grown closer to Miss Mac this year. She attached herself at the Human Society to my husband as a wee little kitten instantly, claimed him and has been ‘his’ since.

However, since I am parked on the couch and available at a beacon call and she knows how to get her way…well we’ve grown closer and I am delighted. She is a very sweet kitty.

One of our morning rituals is for me to sit on the floor kiss her up and brush her in the very early morning hours…I am a morning person. I think we both purr during this time together!

This is only one of the many wonderful things that have come out of my shingles bout. I don’t have to look very far to see a ton of them…from renewing my closeness with my husband, to reconnecting with old friends, to making new friends, to having more energy and time to spend with my family all be it mostly on line.

I have been reminded of the importance of the people in my life.

And, I badly needed the reminder too! I had lost my way once again I can see now. I am finding me again too!

There are many good things that come out of bad times!

It is important to take stock of those good things because on the hard days and there still are those for me, I don’t have to look far before I see that there is a purpose for all I am going through, many of them!

As I say each day and believe: Everything Is, As It Should Be!

This is a meditation: inhale saying ‘everything is’ and exhale saying ‘as it should be’ over and over and over again. Helps me to accept that which is as it is even when I would rather it not be…if I don’t I suffer wanting something I have no control over because it is as it is in this moment!

Would I really rather NOT be parked on the couch at this moment writing this, of course…but tis what it tis and when I look not very far at the sweet Mighty Mac sleeping so sweetly across from me and the sun making its way up through the trees outside the windows…I’d be missing this moment if I weren’t recovering with yet a second outbreak of shingles!

What are you grateful for in this very moment?
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Please rub my belly!

Hi I am a sweetheart aren’t I!?

I’m dreaming of eating all the cheese, yogurt, avocados, green beans and peas that I want…..

Image by Creative_hat on Freepik

First off, it’s because of my Dad who was a man dedicated to his family who worked hard to provide so well and so much for us.

I wish you a Happy Father’s Day dear Dad! And, miss you especially on special days like today. I am so glad YOU were MY Dad!

Secondly, it’s because of several other men in my life—my husband, my Mom’s brother—Unk, my Father in law, my Mom’s partner and several male bosses I’ve had over the years who nurtured my career and believed in me.

All these men have been there for me in the ways a decent man needs to be! I thank you all!

Finally, and importantly as well because of our Founding Fathers who had the foresight so very many years ago to see into the future and want for us, for this country to come to know in our hearts that “all men (women) are created equal”! Sadly, those are words that we yet have so much work ahead to finally achieve.

I thank you for Founding Father’s for your vision.

Today, I do recognize that progress has been made towards that goal our Founding Fathers set for us with our first National celebration yesterday of Juneteenth! And, in our first African American woman Vice President ever sworn into office.

2021 is an important year!

I find it sad that I did not know about those enslaved in Texas for two years after The Emancipation Proclamation was signed until 2020 when I read my cousin Lisa Wingate’s book: The Book of Lost Friends . Lisa’s book is definitely worth a read and will open your eyes as it did mine.

Even sadder is that whilst I’ve heard the term Juneteenth and know it’s been celebrated for several years now, I honestly didn’t understand what it referenced until earlier this past week!

Yesterday a dear friend sent me Happy Juneteenth wishes and a link to this video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xit09LrjJUU

And I watched and listened multiple times to it as tears came to my eyes…the beauty of the melody and the voices and the words the song proclaims captured my heart. Mine was a quiet reflective celebration of some liberties finally being granted—I say some because we “the people of the United States of America” have yet a very long way to go!

2021 marks a new beginning in all kinds of ways!

Who are you grateful for this Father’s Day?

You would never know the light” …

This is a saying I discovered on a Yogi tea tag this spring that I’ve tucked away and remind myself of each day.

Early this morning while still very dark outside, we had a big storm blow through our area. It poured thankfully too, as we desperately need the rain! The wind blew hard and I pictured in my mind’s eye because it was too dark to actually see them, our huge trees waving frantically as the winds pushed and pulled and swirled around them.

Those trees that have been here 90 years are firmly rooted and have weathered many a storm. One even lost a chunk of its’ top several years back and still remains standing strong—tossing around in the wind.

When we are firmly planted, rooted and grounded well, we can weather those life storms around us bending, adjusting, coping and swaying all the while standing tall and firm.

I find this is me right now…bending, swaying, adjusting and weathering these life storms that have brewed up around me remaining firmly planted, rooted, grounded in who I am with integrity, compassion and life experiences that have taught me how to do just that!

For all those life experiences I am grateful too! As I’ve said many a time since I was a wise 18-year-old—I would not be who I am without them…each and every one!

Truly, without the darkness I would never know the light…on all kinds of levels and in all kinds of ways too!

There is a light, a vision, a dream of a new fresh start for my career ahead…so please gentle reader…stay tuned! The best is yet to come!

What helps hold you firmly planted, rooted, grounded in place?
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