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I was and still am in awe of what our soldiers encountered, endured, witnessed and experienced. I found myself in tears while I watched the depiction of events as they unfolded.

I/we owe our lives as we know it today to this “The Greatest Generation” of people of our country. For them, my parents and grandparent’s generation, I owe my life in a multitude of ways.

I am certain if those in my generation of Baby Boomers on forward were living at the time of WWII, I/we would not be here today! I say that because it is us, “my generation” who have so sadly not lived up to the words of this song they sang years ago.

We can’t even all wear a mask! We can’t even all get Covid vaccinated! We can’t even all get along! We can’t even all treat each other respectfully! We can’t even all come together to fight off a pandemic! How sad is that! We would surely have perished, crumbled into tiny pieces if we were alive back in the 1940’s!

So, it is to “The Greatest Generation” of people who came together, worked hard together, sacrificed together, fought so courageously and selflessly together that I am eternally grateful for this Memorial Day. And, I thank you from ‘the bottom of my heart’!

Very sadly, it won’t be long before all of you are resting peacefully… Do know your legacy lives on! You are a role model and inspiration to me. And, I am hopeful that your efforts will inspire future generations to do better too!

Many many thanks to you!

Who are you grateful for this Memorial Day?

The last 14 months have been so very stressful for us all. We have been dealing with a global pandemic that the whole world was terribly ill prepared for. It has been so outside of our everyday life boxes that most of us have really struggled to figure out how to cope with it all.

I know we have each been trying to do our best, we have endured many losses in the process and, we are growing weary too. It has been an incredibly hard time!

I like to think of us all running around in life with imaginary tool boxes and well, the bigger the box and the more resources we have inside it all the better. Because sometimes in fixing something we reach for a hammer when actually we need to go back and get a screw driver to do the job instead!

With that in mind I want to make you aware of some wonderful articles and resources I discovered that National Public Radio (NPR) has on their newsfeed site. If you look up the article: If Your Brain Feels Foggy And You’re Tired All The Time, You’re Not Alone by Rhitu Chatterjee you will find some very helpful information related to coping with the Coronavirus Crisis.

Alongside this NPR article are other articles relating to coping with the pandemic that you can easily access too.
All of this information is free and at your fingertips…well you and your computer’s that is!

This is the link you can use to find this information:
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/05/06/992401123/if-your-brain-feels-foggy-and-youre-tired-all-the-time-youre-not-alone

I offer this in hopes that you will discover some additional resources to add to your life coping tool box as you journey through these rather challenging times.

​I found the information most useful myself! It is good to know I am not alone in how I am feeling and what I am experiencing! We are after-all, all in this together!

​How are you really doing after all these months of the pandemic?

I truly am strong because of the women in my life who’ve raised me!

And they are many, many, many in number—from my mom, to my dear sister, to my grandma’s, to some aunts and cousins who gave to me, to special teachers, to my husband (not all “mothering” comes from women), to my dear friends of both sexes, to my mom in law, to many of my bosses, to countless strangers who’ve touched my life and nurtured me along the way and finally to myself after all I’ve learned to “mother” me too!

I pay tribute to you all and thank you on this special day for I would not be who I am without all the love, care, guidance, connections and nurturing you all generously and graciously have given me along the way of my life’s journey!

I remember in one of my very first Social Work classes in MSW grad school taught by a wonderful woman learning that all we need in life is “good enough” mothering and this can come from all kinds of people not just our moms who give us birth. And, that is really important because none of us is or will ever be perfect at what we do.

That includes our very human mothers who I firmly believe given everything in their lives growing up with imperfect parents did and do the very best they can in nurturing their kids.

But we cannot give a) what we don’t get or b) what we don’t fix that was not available for us or hurt us growing up!

I do not have to look far to see evidence of how broken people hurt others: all the racial injustices, inequalities, hate and violence against people of color; each gun violence episode; cyber criminals and phone scammers who steal from others; all the people who feel they are entitled and don’t wear masks that I’ve encountered while shopping at Meijer’s and the store managers who don’t take action to stop it and fail to protect their workers; to the Tulip Time organizers who chose money and greed over the best interest of the entire community during this ongoing pandemic and held a huge week-long event drawing people from all over the United States to this small community; to the Mayor’s office who last year prior to Tulip Time asked people to not come here (per an article in the Holland Sentinel on May 1, 2021) and this year per a statement the Mayor emailed to me citing others with authority over that office to do anything about it; to Beechwood Church that hosted the Blessings of the Bikes event drawing hundreds of people to the area a few weeks ago when the township I live in decided against hosting it due to the pandemic; to all those who have chosen to come here to participate in these events potentially adding to the Covid spread in this already highly infested area; to all those who have threatened to harm the Governor of Michigan; to all those who participated in the insurrection earlier this year at the US Capital and the ex-president who led the charge and the Congressional Representative and Senators who voted against impeaching that man; to those who bully others at work and bosses who foster toxic work environments…

I don’t have to look very hard to notice that there are lots of people who’ve not received “good enough mothering”, healed their childhood wounds or learned to ”mother” themselves.

When we do harm to others it is out of some deep dark place inside of us that this energy comes. It is an area inside that is vital to look at, face and heal, otherwise, we can do harm to those around us of with this energy we carry.

Even at our best as humans we do step on each other’s toes. We are human after all and perfection is not a human quality. It simply is not possible to achieve.

Humility, vulnerability, openness, honesty, self-reflection, owning up and making amends is the only way to “mother” the world around us! Being grateful for all we have helps too!

It is extra exciting to celebrate this Mother’s Day with our very first woman Vice President in the White House. Her presence and who she is as a person brings an added importance and strength to all of us women this year.

To Vice President Harris and to all those “mothers” of and in my life, I thank you for all you’ve given and still give to me! I would not be who I am if it weren’t for all the love you’ve so selflessly given to me!

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I ask you gentle reader to consider: who are the ‘mothers’ in your life that you appreciate today?

‘Walkin’ down life’s avenue…’

Let me introduce my newest friend to you: Mr. Bug!

Mr. Bug came to visit a couple of weeks ago when early spring melted into summer and our screen-less windows were open a bit to allow fresh air inside out house. He decided to join us too and has not left yet!

Summer turned into winter again and I won’t let him leave till well… I know he’ll survive back out in the wild!

Meantime, I almost killed him several days ago when I emptied a thermos of hot water down the sink and he got swept up in the title wave and ended up in the bottom of the sink drain basket all crumpled up. I got him out onto a piece of paper and put him on the window sill, apologizing profusely and kept a careful eye on him. Within several hours he was back to his old self checking thing out and hanging out in the window sill and sink bottom once again…phew!

It was at this point that I adopted him in a much deeper way and our friendship grew.

A day or two later Mr. Bug attempted suicide by somehow ending up in the silver ware basket of the dish drainer in the sink! He got himself lodged in it and was all but dead in some water that had accumulated in one corner of it.

Well, I was a ‘basket case” when I saw him down there and attempted to drain the remaining water out. Assuming he was dead I went back to bed as it was in the middle of the night when I found him during my trek to the kitchen for a sip of water.

The next morning, he still was there in the bottom of the basked drainer looking like a drowned rat of a bug. I fished him out carefully and once again put him on paper on the window ledge this time assuming he was dead and began mourning my loss—he’d become my friend!

Feeling sad is what we do when we experience a loss no matter what the size or significance of the ‘thing’ we’ve lost.

He laid there that day all crumpled up and I went on with my daily tasks wondering what would be a proper burial for my friend.

Many hours later when I was at the kitchen sink and he’d moved from one part of the paper to the other side. I assumed the paper that was not lying flat because it had been damp and dried up and so he moved and he slid to the other side of it. A bit later on I began to notice his drowned rat looking appearance was not exactly the same.

I was curious and kept watching him and tried to figure out exactly who he is in the bug-kingdom. I had no idea just how many bugs look a lot like him and really have no clear idea who he is—other than Mr. Bug! His given name by me. He’s an awful handsome fella too!

I fondly remember the talking horse ‘Mr. Ed’ who had his own show from my TV childhood watches and ‘Mr. Green Jeans’ from Captain Kangaroo… So ‘Mr. Bug’ resonates well with me even though a friend of mine suggests it is far too formal a name given how ‘close’ we’ve become.

I just don’t want to end up having him think that I am doing a ‘Mr. Bill’ on him, recalling Saturday Night Live from many years ago…

Oh, but I digress…

Mr. Bug miraculously recovered very slowly in the hours and days after his suicide attempt! He grew back an antenna that was clipped short, repaired a leg that was crushed and hobbled about till he got completely well again! Absolutely amazing how his body repaired itself!

His journey is an inspiration to me on many levels:

His ability to heal—he rested, his body worked hard to heal, he wanted to get better, he needed help and he trusted me even after I tried to drown him!
He gives me hope—this cute little guy. I’m home on leave due to shingles doing much the same as he, have a wounded body, hobble around when my muscles tighten and cramp up, have to rest a lot, want my life back, do all I can to get well, need support and all kinds of help, and have to figure out who I can trust and who I cannot trust too!

We can’t get through life all alone! We all, even Mr. Bug, need the love and care of people in this world we live in to do so!

But, we can’t trust everyone who we encounter in our lives to do the right thing.

Mr. Bug knows just who he can trust and count on—me! He now has an ‘eco’ environment on the window sill filled with outside ‘stuff’ of his normal environment. By guess and by golly I’m learning by watching him what he needs to survive and giving it to him.

It takes patience, kindness and care and a big heart to nurture another human being no matter what the size!

For all those who’ve been there for me I am most grateful.

For all those who’ve been there for all those who’ve been so ill with Covid this last year plus—I am SOOOOO very grateful for too!

My next hurdle will be to decide what’s best for Mr. Bug—a life outside in the wild or a limited life on my window sill?

Whilst I will miss his company and inspiration I know the answer to that one—it will be a painful goodbye for us both I suspect when one day next week winter turns back to spring and summer is on the horizon again…

My life will not be the same for just knowing Mr. Bug! A treasured friend whose helped me grow! I thank you Mr. Bug!

Friendships come and go for all kinds of reasons—true friends remain in our hearts forever!

Who’s been there for you? How can you thank them right now for all they’ve given to you?

Dew drops on grass blades and tootsies on kittens
Hot tea with milk cream and warm socks a fittins’
Delight when my in-box email tone pings
These are a few of my self-caring things.

‘Zero Water’ with my faves “rise” and go “shine”
On “Journey to the Heart” my mind likes to dine
The birds’ spring time morning chorusing rings
There are a few of my self-caring things.

McAllister winking flickering her lashes
Kitty snuggles till her sharp teeth she nashes
The time to watch my garden bloom into spring
These are a few of my self-caring things.

When body jerks’ bites
When fart stench stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember by self-caring things
And then I don’t feel so bad!

Taking care of myself has become music to my ears these days.

My shingled-out body lets me know loud and clear that self-caring is a necessary priority. And my wise mind is open to hearing and giving this body of mine what it needs to recover. And thankfully so too!

It is important that we have a mountain of ways to take good care of ourselves.

Some days I can’t walk very far and those days I need to nap. Somedays I can wander a bit down the street or out into my yard and soak up the fresh spring air and savor the wonderful colors in my yard… other days a gaze out the window has to do.

The taller our mountain of self-caring things the more likely we will have the appropriate tool to draw upon the moment we need it the most!

What are some of your self-caring things?
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…The one I love the best of all is spring.”

I wrote that poem as a young teen and in the spring season of renewal I am often reminded of the verse I wrote so many years ago. This spring especially so since I’ve been on a spiritual rebirth path since the end of December 2020.

I started meditating again after having fallen off the meditation horse and stumbled upon, no I was led to the book: Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie. I strongly recommend that you check it out.

Ms. Beattie speaks to me and mirrors the quest, the journey I have been on—not simply since the end of December but frankly ALL of my life.

I know that my heart is leading me—always has been.

Over the last few years I lost my way going down a rabbit hole filled with work stress, lack of selfcare, disconnect from others and worst of all a disconnect from myself.

It got to the point that I am once again (the second time in 6 years) at home on short term disability leave from work due to shingles brought on by work stress. And this time it is after having had two kinds of shingles vaccines! (turns out I had Covid and didn’t know it that turned into long haul Covid and activated the shingles virus in my system)

Yes, stress does a number on me as it does to all of us!

And, especially when this pig-headed stubborn woman ignores the warning signs along the way…and my body has to hit me over the head and in between the eyes to get my attention sometimes!

“But you know life is for learning” as Joni Mitchell sings in the song Woodstock and as the Yogi tea bag says “We can always start again.”

Which is especially true in this spring time of renewal—the world is coming alive slowly and once again so am I! So can you too!

But first you MUST give to yourself, learn to listen to that wise voice in your heart, and let her/him guide you. She/He knows the path, the steps to take, the right thing for you to do in any given moment.

But you have to be open, to open your heart to hear her/him and trust to take that next right for you step that your wise heart voice knows is best for you to do!

“Spring summer winter and fall,
The one I love the best of all is spring.

Spring is full of life and love
Spring is green, spring is new
Spring brings sweet smelling dew.

Spring, summer, winter and fall,
The one I love the best of all is spring!”

Tis time for you to love yourself too!

What is your wise heart voice telling you to do right this very moment?
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Today I moved this piece from the front home page of this website. I am making changes and never want to forget how this website started. I want to share this with you my rental reader too!

​March 2014
These three wonderful critters that share our household are indeed my little helpers. Life would not be the same without them. Pets give us so much comfort, company, love and a sense of being needed too.

My little Gurney also serves as my alarm clock. She wakes me up many mornings with her gentle purring as she sits above my head. That is until the not so sweet licking of my hair starts because she won’t let me push her snooze alarm! To receive some kitty loving first thing is a wonderful way for me to come alive in the morning.

2018 Update: In July of 2017 we had to say goodbye to our dear little “Dunkin punkin”. She was born with one misshapen kidney and the other was smaller than normal. The vet told us early on that cats with kidney problems don’t live long lives. I had forgotten that but had obviously filed it away recalling that statement shortly after her death. We did the best we could providing her with special food and medicine to help her live her life. In a week’s time early in July she declined dramatically from what had appeared on the outside to be a fully functioning cat. It was a very sad time and I still miss that little one. There truly is only one “Dunkin punkin” as I told her zillions of times. Life isn’t the same here for sure with out her. We are adapting and the other two have filled in some of the empty spaces she’s left. I am very grateful we were able to have her in our lives for the 12 1/2 years she was with us! Dunkin is the black kitten in the picture above.

2021 Update: In May of 2019 my dearest ‘Gurney-dorable’ went to kitty heaven. She and Dunkin are resting out back within view of me as I write this. She suddenly went down hill and unbeknownst to us had severe kidney problems. It was a painful few days watching her decline. The last time she really snuggled with me was the Monday evening before we said goodbye to her on Friday…she was perched on my shoulder as I watched TV on the couch and she hugged me like she had never done before. I believe she knew what was ahead and was saying her goodbye to me in her little way that I will never forget. She is the one with the blue eyes in the picture above. She was my smuggle buddy. I miss her dearly.

I know I am still grieving both of these losses. The house is just not the same.

McAllister who is 16 now has grown even more spoiled if that is at all possible! And even more dear to me and more of a snuggler to…but for her I have to get down on the floor and kiss her up as she lays in her pile of toys! We aims to please!I think she is lonely at times being the only one left and having lived with the other 2 for all of her life till their deaths.

Life is hard work it just is and loss is a normal part of life. Grief is a journey…it just is.

Who provides you with gentle love and care when you need it the most?
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​Update August 2021
We bid a sad farewell to McAllister the last of the three little kittens we adopted 16 and a half years ago on 8/18/21. She had pancreatitis and developed liver failure as it progressed over the summer.

Mac ruled the house and us too. This has been her house and we’ve had the honor to be her kitty parents. She is resting now in kitty heaven and out back with her sisters. And I have no doubt that she has made her presence known out there in kitty heaven too…you pretty much always knew where Miss Mac was!

Mac was the only one of the three that always came out to say hi to any visitor we had checking them out and making new friends too. She was a charmer who knew how to get what she wanted from belly rubs to her favorite people food treat. She was a smart one with a twinkle in her eye.

Tis the end of an era with her passing…La Casa De Tres Gatos Locos…The House of Three Crazy Cats…is no more. Our lives were forever changed when they joined us and will not ever be the same without them!

Hello Gentle Reader,
I’m B-A-C-K…as my buddy AAALLLLVVVVIIIINNNN of the Chipmunks would say!

It has been a very long time…way too long…been a dark dreary couple of years since I last wrote a blog post. I’d almost given up on my website and stopped financially supporting my ability to engage with it and nearly stopped financially supporting my domain name until two weeks ago too!

Frankly I’d given up on a lot. But over the last two months I’ve been using my tools again, tools I had also given up on, let go of, abandoned and am once again engaging in life a bit more fully, healing, and working my way through the darkness.

As I like to say I fell off the horse, the self-care horse and have gotten back up and am learning how to ride once again!

Today for the first time in a very long time I ventured out for my walk first thing in the morning and witnessed the sunrise…it was about 8 degrees. The snow crunched as I made my half mile journey to a spot I could more fully see the sun rise in all of its glory. I heard the stillness of the early morning once again and the song birds welcoming the day…and welcoming me too!

The sun rise is there for the taking every morning…a gift Mother Nature offers me.

Those sun rise walks were my anchor for years. I’ve been adrift for way too long. Today I once again grounded myself in the stillness of the sunrise, bearer witness to it’s awakening. It’s been there patiently waiting for me to find it once again.

“It’s gonna be a bright, bright, bright sun-shiny day!”

What practices anchor or ground you?
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Photo by Lisa Fotios; Pexels

I recall having such high hopes for the world back as a teen looking forward through dreamy eyes with little life experience under my belt. Today, it’s hard when that dreamy eyed teen deep inside gets disillusioned with the state of how things have actually turned out.

The experience of life however has shown me that living is hard work, people really are doing the best they can at any given moment, mistakes are a part of being a human being, learning never stops and in spite of events in the world around me I can choose to hold peace in my heart.

When I pause and center myself and do grab hold of my peace filled heart and act with it, act from it, act through it, I contribute peace to the world around me.

The peace inside that I express in my life does go out into the world.

In this way I can and do make a difference one thought, one action, one step at a time each day.

Each day is in fact a new beginning for each one of us. We are given a fresh start each morning not only at this New Year holiday time.

My wish for you this New 2019 Year is to take hold of the fresh start you are given each and every one of the next 365 days to contribute peace in the world around you!

Happy New Year! Happy New Day…to you!

What will you do to cultivate a peace filled heart today?
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Image by FreePic

​Dear Gentle Reader-
I wish for you a peaceful heart this holiday season. This wish I realize is a rather tall order for us humans to achieve especially during this season that promises much and often falls short in so very many ways.

This season we can make the choice to look at everyone and everything through our heart’s eyes.

My wise heart knows that each one of us adds a uniqueness to the harmony of nature and each event or thing that occurs is there for a reason beyond which I have the ability to see.

I don’t however always keep my hearts eyes open. And as a result, I become heavy hearted in the midst of events and people and just life around me.

We can choose to open our hearts time and time and time again, to the reality that we are all imperfect beings deserving of the grace we need to be just as imperfect as we in deed are. And, we can take heart knowing that this includes our very own self too!

We can choose to have a big heart in the face of life’s imperfections. And out of this kindness of that heart of ours we will actually be able to experience peace living in moments of harmony with the world around us!

May you warm your heart with acceptance of all that is just as it unfolds this holiday season!

With all my heart I wish this for you!
Jude

How can your cultivate an open heart this holiday season?

And then you die.

I recall the first time I ever heard this saying and how ghastly I felt hearing it. I took it as a statement of how hopeless this person felt about her life. It struck me so hard that after 25 plus years I still remember it loud and clear.

It really is however a powerful message about life pain which is as inevitable as the fact that we do die one day.

Whether we like it or not life is full of pain and we do in fact die.

Life is full of pain, it just is and the sooner we understand this reality and learn to accept and cope with the pain that life brings the healthier and happier our lives can be. Please read that sentence again…it’s a bit ironic isn’t it that to live a ‘freer’ life one needs to accept pain as a part of the experience of living!

In our culture however we like to fantasize that life “should” be carefree, painless and easy and just as wonderful as the lives of all the ‘friends’ we have on Facebook and as complete as the ads show us if we purchase and use a certain product and work out as a happy ending just as Hollywood has it scripted. But it isn’t.

So, we pop a pill or down some liquor or drink some wine or snort a line or eat more ice cream or go to the casino or buy a lottery ticket or go shopping once again or…. in search of a quick easy fix to drown out the pain, the inevitable pain that just plain old living life brings to us and wonder why me? Why can’t I…? Why did…have to happen?

We do have a choice about what we do with the pain life brings our way.

And it doesn’t matter who we are, what we do, how much money we make, what clothes we wear, what color our skin is, how old we are, what we do for a living, how big the house we live is, what make and model the car is we drive…I could go on and on…but the point it we all have pain in our lives. We just do…period.

When we look at the outside we can easily pretend and fantasize that others live life without much pain. In truth no one’s life is a piece of cake. We delude ourselves when we think otherwise. This delusional thinking is in fact simply a way to avoid dealing with our own pain.

This is that time of year when magical thinking is easy to get lost in and that time of year when that very real pain of life and loss hits us smack between the eyes. We can make a choice to use healthy coping tools to heal and grow as we acknowledge and walk through the pain life brings. This is a gift we can give to ourselves this season that will serve us well into our future!

What choice will you make today to cope with and walk through the pain in your life?
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Sometime earlier this year I fell off the meditation horse and have gotten back up on it and been riding again. By that I mean spending time in meditation most days.

My mind body and spirit really missed this time of reflection and quiet.

One of the tools I use as a part of my quiet time is a booklet of meditations called The Daily Word put out by Unity Publications. This morning’s reading (December 1, 2018) reminded me of just how important my stillness is for me.

The reading suggests that when we take time in our day for a period of stillness our spirit gathers power to sustain and restore life. Time of resting in silence promotes a spirit of creativity and cooperation that prepares us for the day ahead.

I know my day generally goes smoother when I start it with a period of quiet reflection.

I like the concept of “silent resting” as a powerful self-care therapy for mind, body and spirt as the reading suggests. This resonates with me well.

“I relax and just be”.

This power filled statement we can use alongside our heartbeat and breath to help promote a calm peace inside. Through this time to “just be” our spirit can “rejoice with a sense of renewal”.

I am more connected to my spirit, to me, on the days I take the time and give myself the gift of quiet stillness in preparation for the day ahead.

I am very grateful that old meditation horse came back around and I’m back up on her and riding once again!

How might you give yourself quiet renewal time to relax and just be?