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The last few years have had some challenges related to loss and health concerns none of which were life threatening to me but rather took me out of commission for months to varying degrees.
I really did not have energy for much beyond the basics of work, tending to immediate family, our house, the cats and yard. At some moments even these things felt like just too much as well.
It feels that I am finally coming out of this period of time more fully. My energy and interest in life beyond basic survival is returning. I am very grateful too. Life has felt rather bland.
I know there have been other times of my life when my energy was down for various reasons. It seems this is just how the flow of my life is and has been.
There have been things discovered about myself along the way whether I had energy for life or not.
“ To everything turn, turn, turn there is a season turn, turn, turn, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” as the song lyrics go.
Well this certainly seems to be the case in my life. I was wise enough in my early 20’s to know that I wouldn’t be all I was at that point in my life if I hadn’t experienced all that I had up until that very moment in time…the good, the bad and the ugly too. This is still a part of my thinking today.
Certainly there were experiences that I would not do again if I had the opportunity for a do over but all in all each one provided me with life learning and perspectives I would be without had they not happened just as they unfolded.
Life does unfold just as it is supposed to.
Acceptance is the key and often requires hard work to employ!
What do you notice about the ebbs and flows of your life’s energy over time?
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This prompted me to look into aging and body stiffness which I also have been having and assumed to be all about the joy of aging. However my research is making me think differently about aging and stiffness and muscle aches.
What I stumbled upon is the concept of “somatics” which I learned simply means “the body experienced from within”. It’s a term coined by Thomas Hanna. I have found some information on line about this concept.
According to the website: https://gravitywerks.com/what-is-somatics-2/ , “Somatics is about how you feel from the inside out. It’s more about your feelings from your own unique perspective. How you feel or describe your feelings or sense perceptions can be negative such as pain, stiffness or any number of discomforts. It can be positive such as feeling good. Or it can also be neutral or a lack of feelings in certain areas. Of course, you can feel or process any number of feelings or sense perceptions simultaneously as well. Though when it comes to pain, that or those feelings seem to predominate any good we can also feel.”
There is another term I found called “proprioception” used to describe our feelings as it relates to the position of our body and its movement. How we each define pain and feel it is unique to our somatic experience. Negative feelings and sense perceptions can vary at different levels for each of us. Generally our negative feelings about pain get in the way.
Like everything else what we tell ourselves about pain makes a difference in our experience with it. And not just physical pain but emotional pain too!
Hanna developed a system of somatics exercises which are a specialized set of movement patterns unlike regular exercise that target the brain’s motor cortex to affect change. The movement practice is to help people get back in touch with their sensory-motor system through feelings and sensitivity using the brain and body to make the necessary changes to restore control and comfort, according to gravitywerks.com.
“In the same manner that some people simply cannot let their shoulders drop and release held tension in the neck and shoulders, stored or programmed high tension levels, fear, trauma and other personal negative events preclude us from simply letting things drop,” https://gravitywerks.com/what-is-somatics-2/
This intrigues me. Our bodies can be reprogrammed at a certain brain level and then remember to let go of what is causing the pain!
What I’ve come to realize it that how I’ve been experiencing life inside my body for all these years is most likely the reason for my stiffness and sore muscles. I hold in all kinds of emotions in my body especially my neck and shoulders. The result after years and years and year of doing so is pain from very stiff neck and shoulder muscles.
I can reprogram my body. You can too!
I tried it some exercise this morning and it helped my stiff morning muscles loosen up very quickly. I know I have work to do to retrain my body’s long held habits but this information has offered me some hope. Perhaps the years ahead won’t be as stiff and sore as the last few have been!
Where do you hold pain in your body?
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Like the students who were interviewed yesterday I’ve come to expect this will happen yet again and again and again. It is a very sad reality for me to realize that these tragic events are so common place in our country and that I’ve just come to shrug my shoulders while letting out a deep breath sigh when they do.
It’s just too much, too hard to keep reacting with outrage each time because nothing really has been done to prevent these events from happening. I feel powerless to stop it. My letters to Congressional leaders and petition signing and marching have made NO difference!
A part of me is growing to accept this is just how it is and will be.
I recognize this is an enormously complex issue to solve. However it seems that we really do not value human life here in the USA. Oh, we will gladly sell you all kinds of medications and spend enormous amounts of money on medical procedures to prolong your life making it appear that making a buck is really about caring for life. But, we won’t take measures necessary to prevent gun violence from potentially killing you.
Our greed is killing us!
I can’t imagine what it is like growing up for this generation. School was a safe place for me…aside from the normal insecurities we all deal with growing up that is.
My heart aches for our children of today. They know a trauma that has not been commonplace in our country till now and a trauma our ancestors fought hard to free us from.
I do know people of color and the LGBT community in the USA have suffered with these kinds of traumas since our country’s beginning. We as a people are not innocent of doing harm to others.
My heart goes out to all the families and all the children who are grieving losses and trying to heal wounds that will affect them for the rest of their lives.
It is yet another sad day for us all…and even sadder is the reality that there are more sad days yet to come!
What will you do today to help put an end to gun violence in our country?
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We just don’t know what lies around the next corner of life and what strengths we will be called upon to use in order to make it around the bend. But we do adapt sometimes kicking and screaming NO the whole way, sometimes with grace and balance, and most times not without a little if not a lot of help from others along the way.
We all do have strengths to draw upon. We all do have areas of weakness or our “stuff” to work on as I like to say too.
We do learn a lot about our strengths when we are looking at one of life’s challenges squarely in the eye.
It’s hard to know what we would do until we are actually in the moment too. Thinking and doing are often vastly different beasts. We can think all we want but a challenging moment calls upon us to dig deep into the resources of our inner being. Sometimes we surprise ourselves with what we do in fact find too.
When we wonder exactly how we would handle a situation that someone we care about is experiencing, we can appreciate those strengths that we recognize and let them know just how amazing we think they are!
Is there someone in your life whose strengths amaze you? Will you tell them so?
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Guess what…my husband spotted a hummingbird yesterday on our front porch checking out flowers I have waiting to be planted! I think I can safely say spring is here to stay. Those little birds make it official for me.
So, I made up a batch of hummingbird food and put up my feeders last evening to welcome them properly! Hip hip hurray!!!
I popped into a couple garden centers yesterday in search of annuals for pots I put around the yard. Oh my, the colors and flowers were soooooo delightful to see all pretty and just waiting for a proper home for the summer. They seemed to perk up as I passed each one by saying please take me home with you!
Recent rain has helped to green up the grass here. Leaves are sprouting on the trees. Forsythia is blooming as are the daffodils showing off my favorite color.
It certainly had been a very long winter in all kinds of ways from the weather to all the nasty events, talk, attitudes that make headlines on the news. Times have felt very dark, cold and dreary.
I find myself very appreciative of every hint and mark of spring that has arrived this year. I am soaking it up and savoring the color and warmth and hope that it brings to restore my strength for what lies ahead.
Mother Earth is waking up once again and seemingly so am I!
It is easy this time of year for me to notice and take in with curiosity and wonder simple things that do nourish and fill me up. I guess that is the benefit of the winters of our lives. They offer the opportunity to look for a light as the mist of darkness begins to clear.
Will you take a moment to notice with a curiosity something simple in your world today?
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It felt sooooo good to be out for a walk in the warm sunshine last Sunday that I wanted to dance all the way…there was definitely a spring in my step and my heart was full of joy.
I worked out in my flower beds for the first time too and got some badly needed garden therapy. Boy has my body reminded me this week just how long it’s been since I crawled around on my hands and knees out in the yard! I’m not as young as I used to be.
I have to remember to pace myself more than ever before which doesn’t come easily for me.
It just takes longer for me to do physical things that it once did. I am reminded of this periodically when I want to get more done in a days’ worth of time than I am able to accomplish or end up feeling the physical effects of my doing with sore muscles the next day.
My mind thinks I’m still 21 but my body knows the truth and lets me know it when I choose not to remember that fact.
Perhaps the benefit of working slower is having more of an ability to pause and smell the flowers than I did when I was a young 21 year old “whipper snapper” full of energy and raring to go. There was less pausing to enjoy and savor in the moment back then. After all I had all the time in the world to do that later. I gather this is the later…it just seems to have come awfully fast!
What benefits to growing older do you notice?
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How we handle ourselves in the face of life’s unfair realities is of significance.
We have many choices in how we respond. Without some space to work through our emotions before we respond we may react in ways that creates an injustice to someone else.
Even though we’ve been “pooped on” or someone we care about has it’s really not ok to “poop on” someone else in return!
I generally need some quiet space to unload my emotions and initial reactions before I can determine the best course of action to take.
Often the best course is simply learning to accept that which seems unacceptable…a pretty tall order to do sometimes too!
Through the difficult times in my life some good stuff has come out of it which includes having learned new coping tools, growth in ways that has stretched me for the better and experiences that have taught me to appreciate all that life has brought to me—the good times and the hard times too.
When faced with an injustice what helps you negotiate through it?
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I began reflecting on how life might have been like 100 years ago when very few people had electricity in their homes…it wasn’t until 1925 that even half of the households in the US had electricity! Even in the 1930’s if you lived in a farm house in the country you likely didn’t have electricity! That really doesn’t seem all that long ago to me.
It’s hard to imagine what it was like trying to stay warm and being able to see well enough on grey cloudy days and when it was dark outside to do much inside the house.
I am terribly spoiled. I wouldn’t have survived long 100 years ago! As it was I certainly was very happy when the power went back on and did so earlier doing than expected too.
It was however nice to just sit and enjoy the fire with the cats who also are spoiled and needed to cuddle with us to keep warm. There was no TV to watch, limited internet and cell phone use since we didn’t want to use up the batteries too soon just in case. And without the furnace making its noise we heard more of the birds busily chirping outside and the fire crackling inside. We made coffee with an old camping stove and boy did it hit the spot! It was a simple morning of just being.
I take so many things for granted…till the power goes out that is and I go without and find myself grateful for having those conveniences that I rely on so readily yet think so little about each day! I am especially grateful for all the crews of people who were out in the nasty cold weather we had fixing what needed to be repaired so that I could once again easily go about my day staying warm and in the light.
Yet there was real comfort in simply enjoying the light and warmth of the flickering fire and savoring my hot coffee that no amount of technology can ever provide!
What simple things bring real comfort to you?
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My poor crocuses were covered with a cold white blanket! And, I’ve worn my winter boots again too!
It’s getting harder for me to be patient for spring weather to get here and stay here. My bad case of cabin fever is getting worse. I am so eager to be outside digging in the dirt once again. Today that feels like it’s going take forever to happen. The world outside my window has been white once again.
Mother Nature does like to have her fun with us!
It would be better for me to share in the joy of her folly than dread yet another day trudging about in the snow and cold…so…the snow does brighten it up outside and it did stick to the trees limbs and bushes making for a pretty display.
Once again I have a choice where I focus my mind…wishing for something other than what is certainly doesn’t allow for a smile on my face or in my heart.
What joys can you experience in the “what is” in your life right now?
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For years after that I hoped even out loud that the Easter Bunny would do it again but she only did that kind of hunt once. I certainly had fun looking for and finding the goodies carefully and lovingly hidden and filling up my basket. I can still see a bag filled with jelly beans in my mind.
There was another memorable year when the Easter Bunny actually left my sister and I each a live bunny…what I remember is a trail of bunny poop after the bunnies were found and released from under the kitchen sink to wander the house! I imagine they were not allowed to wander too long or far given the trail they left behind. I know they ended up living outside in a cage and I recall that another more suitable home was found for them.
It is comforting to think back on these fond and special memories.
I am grateful that my parents provided these special experiences and times for me to enjoy and with tear filled eyes now savor in my memory.
What special memories do you have of some early childhood spring time experiences?
We’ve finally made it to spring or so says the calendar anyway. It’s been rather cold here in West Michigan. The snow has melted except for a very few ugly dark piles but the wind keeps blowing frigid air our way.
I have a dozen little purple crocus in my front yard that popped up about 3 weeks ago and have been opening up when the sun warms them up enough and closing down when they are too cold…much like me.
The song birds have returned too. I enjoy hearing their wonderful tunes. They seem to brighten up the sunshine even more for me and warm my heart when that chilly air hits my face.
I have a bad case of cabin fever…it’s been a long winter and I am eager to spend more time outside again when the temperatures finally warm up. It’s hard for me to be patient as the earth slowly warms up. The crocus and song birds are welcomed visions of things to come. They along with the sunshine bring hope.
Hope: “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen” according to the on line dictionary.
“Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large” says Wikipedia.
This winter it’s been hard at moments to have much hope when the nightly news reports gun violence time and time again, politicians in Washington repeatedly are unable to work together to make change happen, and on going White House tweets bully people with words and tones that are just plain wrong for any adult to do to another human being and terribly sad and embarrassing to see coming from the White House itself. It’s felt dark and ugly at times.
Where I focus my attention affects my emotions.
Those little purple crocus and noisy little song birds bring hope that shines right through all the ugly darkness. It’s the little everyday joys that are important to soak up and savor. They help remind us that there is indeed balance in life. We just need to be sure to take notice!
What little joys in your everyday life bring you hope and balance?
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Some times I enjoy drinking herbal tea. A couple of the brands I’ve found have short often wise sayings on the tag of each bag of tea. One caught my interest recently: “The gate to happiness is self-compassion”. This one strikes me as particularly useful and I’ve kept it. As the saying goes: we are often our own worst enemy! Just how true that can be for me, too.
“The gate to happiness is self-compassion” seems like a good way to counter being my very own worst enemy!
Kristen Neff, a psychologist who has researched and written about self-compassion says, “Having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others.”
According to Neff, compassion involves noticing that someone is suffering, being so moved by that persons suffering that your heart responds to their pain so much that you feel warmth, caring, and the desire to help the suffering person in some way. Rather than judge them, you offer understanding and kindness to others when they fail or make mistakes. You realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection is just a part of being human.
“Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?”, Neff states.
As I think about her definition of self-compassion it makes sense to me that the gate to happiness does in fact go right through self-compassion! It can be so easy to give someone we hold dear compassion when they need it and so very hard to give that same regard to ourselves.
There is a saying—treat others the way you would like to be treated…just perhaps the real key is to treat ourselves as we would like to be treated! The reward for so doing is feeling a happiness deep within ourselves for simply being human.
How might you remember to acknowledge when you are suffering and offer comfort and care for yourself?
If you would like to learn more tools for self care of the one very important you, do Contact Me. We can journey down the ‘you deserve to take very good care of you’ path together!
